THE NEW RULES FOR LOVE, SEX & DATING
Week 4: If I Were You
You can say, “I do.” But can you follow through? A promise— even a promise as big as a wedding vow— doesn’t mean anything without preparation to back it up. In this message, the speaker has a “to do” list that will prepare you to one day say “I do” and mean it.
- What well-intentioned promises have you made that you couldn’t follow through on because of your lack of preparation? (Athletic, academic, professional, family, etc.)
- Read Proverbs 14:15. How are simple and prudent people different? What signs might a couple that is “in love” ignore because they are headed down the path of the simple? How can you avoid this trap in your relationships?
- What are some specific consequences of bringing your unresolved past into your marriage? Can you identify any holes in your heart that you need to work on now in order to spare your spouse later?
- Studies show that living together before marriage is actually detrimental to the marriage. Why do you think so many people still make the decision to live together? How have you seen this play out in your life or with your close friends and family?
- Fishermen choose bait based on the kind of fish they want to catch. Do you think that there are specific ways a woman should present herself in order to attract a prudent man? Alternately, how can men identify the women they need to avoid?
- The speaker says that commitment is way overrated and that the paths people choose trump the commitments they make. What does he mean by this? How do these thoughts factor into dating and relationship decisions? What path can you make a commitment to that will prepare you for a long-term successful relationship?
Marriage was not designed to fix things. In fact, oftentimes the bad things only get magnified in marriage. Since that is the case, why not start becoming the person your spouse needs now? Your preparation now is worth way more than your commitment later on. With that in mind, choose one area the speaker mentioned (debt, unresolved past, bad habits, dress, boundaries) and create a goal. Then list the necessary short-term steps that will set you on a path toward becoming the person that the person you are looking for is looking for.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways . . . Proverbs 14:8