Week of 02.03.2019

What Happy Couples Know 

Week 2: It’s Mutual 



We all enter into marriage with hopes, dreams, and desires. They create expectations. But when you put those expectations onto your spouse, it turns your marriage into a debt/debtor relationship. Your relationship becomes marked by the belief that your spouse owes you something. So, how do you keep your hopes, dreams, and desires from becoming expectations?  



  1. ICEBREAKER: What is your definition of a great marriage? What do you think creating a great marriage requires of each person in the marriage? 

  2. Have you ever been in a relationship in which the other person felt you owed them something? If so, what happened to that relationship? 

  3. During the message, the speaker said, “This is the essence and substance of a Christian marriage. Christian marriage is a submission competition, a race to the back of the line.” How does that statement challenge your assumptions about marriage? 

  4. Read John 13:34. What are some practical ways spouses can love each other the way Christ has loved them? 

  5. Read Ephesians 5:22 and 25. Do you think this advice to wives and husbands is realistic? Why or why not? 

  6. What can you do this week to begin to treat your spouse—or lay the groundwork for treating your future spouse—as though he or she owes you nothing? How can this group support you? 


If your marriage is a tug of war, the thought of laying down your end of the rope first is terrifying. But remember: while you were dead in your sin, God let go of the rope. He did something for you with no guarantee that you would return the favor. Follow His lead by dropping your end of the rope in your marriage. Tell the group how you will let go of the rope this week. 


Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Ephesians 5:21