What Happy Couples Know
Week 3: Sometimes You Throw Things
We all enter into marriage with hopes, dreams, and desires. The only way to keep them from becoming expectations is to decide your spouse doesn’t owe you. As long as you think your spouse owes you, your marriage is transactional. It’s all about relational debt and keeping score. That destroys intimacy. It destroys love. But what’s wrong with having hopes, dreams, and desires? What are we supposed to do with them?
1. ICEBREAKER: Did your parents ever forget to pick you up from school or an event? How did that feel?
2. Have you ever seen someone try to deal with unmet expectations by ignoring them, staying busy, or finding someone else?
3. Do you ever try to deal with your unmet expectations by pretending you don’t care about them or keeping yourself busy with work or family? If so, how has that worked out for you?
4. Have your unmet expectations ever undermined the quality of a relationship?
5. Read Psalm 55:12-23. Listen to how honest the Psalmist prays. Are you currently holding back with God by praying polite prayers? What would it look like for you to get on your knees and be unfiltered when you take your concerns to your heavenly Father?
6. Read 1 Peter 5:5-7. Is there an area of your relationship about which you need to ask, “What would a humble person do?” What are some things you can do to move to the back of the line in that area?
7. What can you do this week to “cast your anxiety” on God? How can this group support you?
Happy couples don’t let their desires become expectations. Happy couples know to unload their frustrations on God. He invites it. And, if you allow him to, he will do something remarkable in your life and marriage. This week, pray the most honest prayers you have ever prayed to God. See how that impacts your relationship with Him and with your spouse.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7