How Not to Be Your Own Worst Enemy | Week 3
Week 3 How not to be Your Own Worst Enemy
Discussion Guide - Listen
It can be easy to see someone else self-destruct and think to ourselves, "I would never do that." But truth be told, we're all capable of ending up where we don't want to be. Even Solomon's son—the heir to the throne of Israel—blatantly ignored a principle that we should all pay close attention to.
Discussion Questions
What is one topic for which you feel confident giving advice on, (field of expertise, a hobby, relational)?
Is there a category of people you have a hard time taking advice from? If so, why?
Can you think of a time when you discounted good advice because of the source?
Read 1 Kings 12:1–19, where Rehoboam (Solomon's son) begins his reign as Israel's king. He does so in the wake of King Solomon forcing labor in order to accomplish multiple building projects.
Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all Israel had gone there to make him king. 2 When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard this (he was still in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from Egypt. 3 So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: 4 "Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you."
5 Rehoboam answered, "Go away for three days and then come back to me." So the people went away.
6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. "How would you advise me to answer these people?" he asked.
7 They replied, "If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants."
8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, "What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, 'Lighten the yoke your father put on us'?"
10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, "These people have said to you, 'Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter.' Now tell them, 'My little finger is thicker than my father's waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.'"
12 Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to Rehoboam, as the king had said, "Come back to me in three days." 13 The king answered the people harshly. Rejecting the advice given him by the elders, 14 he followed the advice of the young men and said, "My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions." 15 So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from the Lord, to fulfill the word the Lord had spoken to Jeroboam son of Nebat through Ahijah the Shilonite.
16 When all Israel saw that the king refused to listen to them, they answered the king:
"What share do we have in David,
what part in Jesse's son?
To your tents, Israel!
Look after your own house, David!"
So the Israelites went home. 17 But as for the Israelites who were living in the towns of Judah, Rehoboam still ruled over them.
18 King Rehoboam sent out Adoniram, who was in charge of forced labor, but all Israel stoned him to death. King Rehoboam, however, managed to get into his chariot and escape to Jerusalem. 19 So Israel has been in rebellion against the house of David to this day.
How familiar are you with this story?
What stands out to you as you read this account?
What are some good decisions Rehoboam made?
What are some poor ones?
What are some principles we can learn from Rehoboam's mistakes?
We're all prone to lean on our own understanding. Who else should you be inviting into your decision-making circle?
Which of these makes it difficult for you to ask, What would you do if you were in my shoes?
You already know what they're going to say.
It's nobody's business.
Success is intoxicating: You don't need anybody's advice.
Changing Your Mind
Find someone who has nothing to gain and nothing to lose by telling you the truth. Are you willing to make the following commitment? I will not automatically discount advice based on the source of the advice.