Series: Don’t Take The Bait / Week 3 (9/27-10/4)

ICEBREAKER

What is something completely insignificant that you have a ridiculously hard time letting go of?

Maybe someone changed the thermostat, ate the leftovers you were saving, moved something you had put in the perfect spot, beat you at a game, or proved you wrong about something you were sure you were right about.

TRANSITION

Throughout this series, we've learned how easily offense can become a trap. But what happens when the offense isn't something small that we can simply step over? What do we do with the hurts that genuinely changed us?

This week’s message gives us the key: FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY THAT UNLOCKS YOU FROM THE TRAP OF AN OFFENSE.

DISCUSS

READ Ephesians 4:31–32
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

1. Why do you think Paul connects getting rid of bitterness with forgiveness? What can happen when an offense is allowed to remain in our hearts?

2. The message says, “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks you from the trap of an offense.” Why can forgiveness sometimes feel harder than staying angry?

READ Matthew 18:21–22
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”

3. Why do you think Jesus refuses to put a limit on forgiveness?

4. Jesus tells the story of a servant whose enormous debt was completely forgiven, but that same servant refused to forgive someone who owed him much less. Why is remembering how much God has forgiven us so important when we're struggling to forgive someone else?

5. The message gives us several misconceptions about forgiveness. Which one do you think people struggle with most?
· Forgiveness is NOT saying what happened was okay.

· Forgiveness is NOT a feeling.

· Forgiveness is NOT forgetting or ignoring.

· Forgiveness is NOT the same as trust.

· Forgiveness is NOT dependent on someone saying, “I'm sorry.”

READ Matthew 18:15
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

6. Why is going directly to someone often harder than talking about them to someone else?

GET PRACTICAL:

6. “Forgiveness isn't a feeling. It's a decision.” Why is that distinction important?

7. How might waiting until we feel like forgiving keep us trapped?

8. The message says forgiveness and trust are two different things: forgiveness can happen in a moment, while trust often happens over time. How can understanding that difference make forgiveness easier?'

READ Romans 5:8
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

9. God didn't wait for us to get everything right before He moved toward us. How should the grace we've received from Jesus influence the grace we're willing to extend to others?

10. The message defines biblical forgiveness as “to release—to let it go.” What might it look like to say, “What you did wasn't okay, but I'm releasing the debt. You don't owe me anymore”?

PRAYER

“Jesus, what happened wasn't okay, but I don't want to carry it anymore. Just as You have forgiven me, help me forgive. I release this offense to You, and I choose freedom.”

Series: Don’t Take The Bait / Week 3 (9/20-9/27)

ICEBREAKER

When you say “I’m fine” but you’re definitely NOT fine, what gives you away every time? Do you get quiet? Give one-word answers? Clean aggressively? Slam cabinets? Avoid eye contact? Suddenly become “really tired”? Or do you make sure EVERYONE knows you’re not fine?

TRANSITION

Sometimes we think we’ve dealt with an offense simply because we haven't talked about it. We stuff it down, act like it's no big deal, and keep moving. But just because we're ignoring an offense doesn't mean we're free from it. Sometimes we carry it so long that everyone else can see the weight we're carrying before we can.

DISCUSS

1. Why do you think we sometimes choose to ignore an offense instead of dealing with it? Are we afraid of conflict? Rejection? Making things worse? Or do we simply not know what to say?

READ 1 Kings 19:9–10
“There he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the LORD came to him: ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ He replied, ‘I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.’”

2. What can Elijah's “cave” teach us about what happens when we isolate ourselves while we're hurt?

3. Why can hurt make us feel alone?

4. How can having Godly people around us help us see a situation differently?

READ 1 Kings 19:11–12
“The LORD said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”

5. What “noise” can make it difficult for us to hear God's voice when we're offended?

READ Matthew 18:15
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

6. Why is going directly to someone often harder than talking about them to someone else?

GET PRACTICAL:

READ Matthew 18:16–17
“But if they will not listen, take one or two others along… If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

Jesus gives three steps: confront privately, bring in help when necessary, and involve a caring spiritual community when the issue remains unresolved.

7. What do these steps teach us about how much God values both truth and relationships?

GET PERSONAL:

You don't have to share names or details, but ask yourself:

· What offense am I carrying around?

· Have I actually dealt with it—or just ignored it?

· Is there a conversation I've been avoiding?

· Could God be asking me to take the first step toward healing?

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Before you ghost them, block them, avoid them, or simply carry the offense, pray: “God, how can You use me to help bring healing?”

PRAYER

Ask Jesus to reveal any offense you've been ignoring or carrying like an “ankle weight.” Ask Him for the wisdom, courage, humility, and love to have the conversations that need to happen—and to help you pursue healing instead of hiding and reconciliation instead of avoidance.

Series: Don’t Take The Bait / Week 2 (9/13-9/20)

ICEBREAKER

What is the funniest or most harmless way you’ve ever tried to “get even” with someone? Maybe your sibling annoyed you, so you hid the remote. Your spouse ate your leftovers, so you finished their dessert. Someone scared you, so you spent the rest of the day planning how to scare them back.

TRANSITION

There is something in us that naturally wants to settle the score. When someone hurts us, we want them to understand what they did—and sometimes we want them to hurt like we hurt.

But this week's message makes an important distinction:

It’s right to want JUSTICE, but it’s wrong to take REVENGE.

DISCUSS

1. Why do you think getting even can feel so right when someone has genuinely wronged us?

2. What is the difference between JUSTICE and REVENGE? Can you want accountability for someone's actions without wanting to personally hurt them back?

Read Luke 6:27–28
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,  bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

3. Why is this teaching of Jesus so difficult to actually live out?

4. The message says revenge may feel rewarding in the moment, but it never releases us from the offense long-term. Why do you think revenge can actually keep us connected to
the person who hurt us?

Read Romans 12:17–19
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take
revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

5. What does it mean practically to “leave room” for God?

6. The message uses the picture of “tagging God in.” Where are we tempted to stay in the ring and fight battles that really belong to God?

Revenge gives us an illusion of control, but the message points out that the person who hurt us can actually begin controlling our thoughts, emotions, conversations, attitudes,and peace.

7. How can you recognize when someone who hurt you still has too much influence over your life?

8. The message says, “Revenge and trust cannot occupy the same space.” What do you think that means?
How is releasing revenge ultimately an act of trusting God?

Read Romans 12:21
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

9. What would it look like for you to overcome evil with good instead of allowing someone else’s actions to determine the kind of person you become?

10. The message gives us three challenges: NAME the person, TAG GOD IN, and REDIRECT your energy toward something good. Which of those three is the hardest for you right now—and why?

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

When you find yourself replaying an offense or imagining how someone should “pay” for what they did, stop and pray:

“God, I’m tagging You in. I give You this person, this situation, this hurt, and my desire to get even. I trust You with what happens next.”

Then intentionally redirect that energy toward something good.

REMEMBER

It’s right to want JUSTICE, but it’s wrong to take REVENGE.

God can handle the person who hurt you.

Jesus can heal what they did to you.

Series: Don’t Take The Bait / Week 1 (9/6-9/12)

ICEBREAKER

What is something completely harmless that annoys you WAY more than it should?

EXAMPLES:

· People who don't return their shopping cart

· Someone driving slowly in the left lane

· People who chew loudly

· Getting a text that just says “K”

· Someone leaving 3 seconds on the microwave

· People who don't use their blinker

· Your spouse squeezing the toothpaste “wrong”

· Someone taking forever to order when they’ve been standing in line for 10 minutes

TRANSITION

We laugh about the little things, but offense can become serious when we allow it to stay in our hearts. Jesus told us offenses will come. The question isn't whether we'll ever be offended; it's what we do when offense comes.

DISCUSS

1. What do you think is the difference between being hurt or offended and actually living offended?

2. The sermon compared offense to bait sitting inside a trap. Why is offense such tempting “bait”?

Read Proverbs 19:11
“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”

3. Why do you think overlooking an offense requires wisdom and strength, rather than weakness?

4. The message said an offense we refuse to release can eventually become bitterness. What are some signs that hurt has started turning into bitterness?

5. How can bitterness begin affecting areas of our lives that had nothing to do with the original hurt—our marriage, children, friendships, work, leadership, or relationship with God?

6. The sermon challenged us to “step over” some offenses. What does that practically look like?

7. When we don't know someone's motives, we can fill the gap with either ACCUSATION or LOVE. Which one do you naturally tend toward?

8. What would change in our relationships if we became people who intentionally assumed the best?

PRAY

Ask Jesus to reveal any offense, hurt, or bitterness you may still be holding onto. Pray for the strength to forgive, step over the offense, assume the best, and walk forward in the freedom and future God has for you.

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

9. Is there an offense you're carrying right now that Jesus may be asking you to finally step over and release?

• When you feel yourself becoming offended this week, pause before responding and ask: “Am I about to take the bait?”

• Then choose to step over the trap, assume the best, and lead with love.

REMEMBER

God’s plans for your FUTURE are too BIG to hold onto an offense from your PAST.