BAD BLOOD | WEEK 2
Holding On
INTRODUCTION
What do you do when you have bad blood with someone who owes you something? Bad blood is
costly and complicated. It costs you peace and complicates your other relationships. If you don’t find
peace in that “bad blood” relationship, your other relationships will suffer. The good news is that you
can have peace about the relationship even without peace in the relationship.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
When someone wrongs you, do you tend to try to brush it off or to get even?
How do you think that tendency affects your relationships?
Has your relationship with someone ever been affected by their bad blood with someone else?
If so, what happened?
During the message, Clay said, “When you choose not to take revenge, you’re inviting God into the relationship.”
Is that difficult for you to believe? Why or why not?
Read Romans 12:17–19.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[a] says the Lord.
What obstacles stand in the way of you “leaving room for God’s wrath” in the “bad blood” relationships in your life?
What do you worry that trusting God will cost you?
Is there someone you need to forgive . . . even if that person isn’t seeking your forgiveness?
How might forgiving that person have a positive effect on your other relationships?
If there’s someone you need to forgive, what is one thing you can do this week to take a step toward forgiveness?
How can this group support you?
MOVING FORWARD
Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to set free from his or her debt to you? Who are you
asking to pay a ransom for what someone else took from you? You can let go or you can let it hold
you. Let God hold what’s holding you. Stop trying to make others pay what they owe you. Work to
forgive.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to
avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Romans 12:19
BAD BLOOD | WEEK 1
The Empathy Lens
INTRODUCTION
Bad blood can infect any relationship. And the quality of our lives is only as good as the quality of our relationships. Lack of peace about a relationship robs you of peace in your own life. But you can have peace about a relationship even without peace in the relationship. Happiness comes from peace with God, peace with yourself, and peace with others.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Talk about a relationship that makes your life better.
What are some things about that relationship that you value and appreciate?
When has one of your relationships gone from good to bad in the blink of an eye?
How did you respond?
During the message, Pastor defined empathy as “feeling what the other person feels.”
What are some obstacles we face to being empathetic toward others?
Why do we resist that level of connection?
Read Romans 12:17–19.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[a] says the Lord.
What are some of the negatives you contribute to difficult relationships in your life?
What do you need to do to live at peace with others?
Is it difficult for you to believe that when it comes to bad blood your life will be better if you follow Jesus by taking the long walk of empathy?
Why or why not?
Think about a difficult relationship in your life.
What can you do this week to view the problem from the other person’s perspective and take a step toward him or her?
How can this group support you?
MOVING FORWARD
Empathy is first aid for bad blood. In difficult relationships, empathy can be the key to beginning a
conversation that leads to health and peace. When you empathize with someone, you see things you
wouldn’t have seen. Your anger turns to compassion. Your hurt begins to heal. You live out the kind of
radical love to which Jesus called us.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18
NOT IN IT TO WIN IT | WEEK 2
Week 2: Shine
Disagreement is unavoidable, but division is a choice. We can disagree politically and love unconditionally.
Discussion Questions:
On a scale from 1–10, answer these two questions:
When you're playing some sort of game, how much do you care about winning?
When it comes to engaging in politics, how passionate are you?
What do you think causes you to be whatever numbers you picked?
Your temperament?
Your loved ones?
Your situation?
Something else?
Do you find yourself trying to avoid people who feel differently than you politically?
If so, why? If not, talk about some ways you've learned to move toward people who think differently than you.
Read John 13:34–35,
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
What stands out to you?
If you lived this out, how could it affect your immediate circle of influence?
Do you have someone in mind to whom you hope to be a shining light?
Who? What is it about that situation that you see as an opportunity?
Read Galatians 3:28,
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
What stands out to you about this passage?
Deep down, do you feel people who align with you politically are morally superior to those who don't?
What makes you say that?
When the next election cycle approaches, do you plan to do anything differently in terms of how you express your opinion?
If we're really "not in it to win it," what are some practical tips in terms of making people feel more important than their political beliefs?
NOT IN IT TO WIN IT | WEEK 1
Week One: One Nation Under God
When it comes to potentially polarizing topics, our posture, tone, and approach will tell others all they need to know about what’s most important to us.
Discussion Questions:
If someone reviewed your social media, texts, and conversations over the past couple of years, would they say your opinions were polarizing?
Would they say you tried to understand the other side?
Would they say you spoke kindly about people who didn't share your opinion? Explain.
In the midst of the pandemic, our church was presented with a challenge: "When 2020 is nothing but a story you tell, what story do you want to tell?"
What's something about your story over the last couple of years that you’re proud of?
Is there an area of life you improved in or perhaps an opportunity to give or serve that you took advantage of?
Is there part of your story you'd do differently if a similar season were to come in the future?
What did you learn?
Read this quote by pastor Tim Keller.
When the church as a whole is no longer seen as speaking to questions that transcend politics, and when it is no longer united by a common faith that transcends politics, then the world sees strong evidence that Nietzsche, Freud, and Marx were right—that religion is really just a cover for people wanting to get their way in the world.
—Tim Keller
What stands out to you? What do you agree with and why?
Anything you'd push back on?
Read Philippians 2:14–15,
Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[a] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky
How is this counter to the culture we live in?
What areas or situations tempt you to grumble and complain?
What are some ways you could shine more?
Read 1 Corinthians 9:19–21,
Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law.
What is Paul’s approach to help others come to Jesus?
How does Paul approach help us to help others find their way to Jesus?
What are some ways we can do this in our current culture?
How could you do this better?
Who do you know that does this well?
THE SUM OF IT ALL | WEEK 5
Week 5: Filled Full
Devote yourself to more than yourself so you will have more than yourself to show for yourself.
Discussion Questions:
Has this series changed any of your perspectives about how you use your wealth and possessions?
What, if any, new ideas or challenges have been introduced to you in this series?
What was the newest or most impactful idea?
What were the challenges?
Have you made any significant changes or set any goals for your financial future?
Often when presented with challenges our first reaction is to ask “What should I do about me?”
Why is “What breaks Your Heart” a better question?
The Speaker made two statements. There is not enough of you to fill you. And Being consumed with you will ultimately consume you.
What do you think these statements mean?
What’s your initial response to this statement? Following Jesus is characterized by self-denial, not self-improvement.
The fullest people are those who empty themselves for the sake of others.
Do you find this to be true?
Who do you know that personifies that?
What’s your take on the relationship between purpose and happiness? Are the two connected?
Read Mark 8:34
Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
What is the first requirement to be a Jesus follower?
According to the message, How does taking up your cross become forfeiting your independence?
Read Mark 8:35
For whoever wants to save their life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.
What stands out to you? What do you think Jesus meant by these phrases?
Whoever wants to save their life
Will lose it
Whoever loses
How does this all translate into living a generous life?
According to Jesus...
Filling is achieved through emptying.
Gaining is achieved through giving.
Winning is achieved through losing.
What is one action you can do this week to begin this transformation into becoming more like Jesus?
THE SUM OF IT ALL | WEEK 4
Week 4 : The Sum of Us
Introduction:
“Why should I give money to the church?” has long been a controversial question. Is it the Old Testament Law? As New Testament followers of Jesus are we still obligated under the old law to tithe? Only when we understand the value of the church and the work, we do together can you truly answer this question.
What arguments have you heard about the tithe, either for or against?
Why is this a controversial issue?
Read Genesis 14:19-20 and
18 Then Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine. He was priest of God Most High, 19 and he blessed Abram, saying, “Blessed be Abram by God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth.
20 And praise be to God Most High, who delivered your enemies into your hand.” Then Abram gave him a tenth of everything.Read Genesis 28:10-15
10 Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Harran. 11 When he reached a certain place, he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. 12 He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. 13 There above it[a] stood the Lord, and he said: “I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. 14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring.[b] 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”
In both of these cases what was the motivation for them to give a tithe?
In Leviticus 27:30 the tithe was introduced as law.
Why was the tithe important to the ministry of the temple?
Read Matthew 23:23
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.
Read Matthew 10:8
Give as freely as you have received.
In these 2 passages what can we understand about Jesus’ idea of tithing and giving?
Read Acts 2:42-45
42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.
How did being filled with the Holy Spirit affect believers’ idea of their wealth?
Read 1 Corinthians 10:26
... for, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.”
How does this differ from the Old Testament idea of God owning 10% of what we have?
Read 2 Corinthians 9:7-8
You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”
How does your gratefulness for the church add to the motivation to give to the church?
Pastor said, “You shouldn’t give because you have to but because you get to.” How does the following verse reflect that?
How does the following verse reflect that?
Given the Old Testament history of the tithe and Jesus’ heart of giving make tithing the most practical way to accomplish the mission of the church?
When your “not much” and my “not much” come together, it becomes much more.
Each of us has been blessed because someone gave to the church.
Were you taught to tithe as a child?
Do you have a better understanding of the tithe?
Read Malachi 3:10
10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.
What are some obstacles for you to commit to the tithe?
Does the 90-day giving challenge provide you a way to begin to tithe?
To make a true impact the sum of us giving together can change the lives of many.
THE SUM OF IT ALL | WEEK 3
Week 3: Live Generous
Introduction:
To be generous is different than to live generous. To be generous can be sporadic, random, or regulated by our cash flow. We become confused that the amount determines the value of our generosity. However, to live generously requires that we adjust our financial philosophy in order to put others first not only in the moment by every moment of every day. With every purchase. With all our financial planning.
Why is it easy to confuse generosity with random acts of kindness?
Would you consider yourself generous? Why? Why not?
What are some of the myths the pastor mentioned in the message?
Read Luke 21:1-4
As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. 2 He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. 3 “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. 4 All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”
Why is percentage a better measurement of generosity than amount?
Why is having a plan to live generous so important?
Do you budget now?
https://www.iwasbrokenowimnot.com/tools provides you with free resources to help you budget.
It does require your name and email address, but it is worth a few emails to live generous.
In the message the Five Things we do with Money from Ron Blue’s book Master Your Money was discussed.
Spend it
Repay Debt
Pay Taxes
Save It
Give It
How does this financial practice make it difficult to be a true follower of Jesus?
Why?
To Live generous was defined as ...
The premeditated, calculated designated emancipation of financial assets.
Discuss each word of the definition and How it is vital to Live Generously.
How does a grateful heart or a broken heart help us determine where to be generous?
What are you grateful for?
Are you generous towards it?
What breaks your heart?
How can you be generous towards it?
How can living generously prepare you to say yes to what’s important to you?
How can saying yes to something make it easier to say no to something else?
How is organizing your finances in the order of Give, Save Live simply your life?
What are some practical ways for you to work towards this idea?
How can this group help?
THE SUM OF IT ALL | WEEK 2
Week 2: Money is how you see it.
Introduction:
Our perception of money is given to us by the culture we live in. But once we see money from God’s perspective, we understand its true value.
How do most people form their opinions or perspectives?
Has there ever been a time when you changed your perspective on something?
What was it?
What made you change?
Read Luke 16: 1-8
Jesus told this story to his disciples: “There was a certain rich man who had a manager handling his affairs. One day a report came that the manager was wasting his employer’s money. 2 So the employer called him in and said, ‘What’s this I hear about you? Get your report in order, because you are going to be fired.’ 3 “The manager thought to himself, ‘Now what? My boss has fired me. I don’t have the strength to dig ditches, and I’m too proud to beg. 4 Ah, I know how to ensure that I’ll have plenty of friends who will give me a home when I am fired.’5 “So he invited each person who owed money to his employer to come and discuss the situation. He asked the first one, ‘How much do you owe him?’ 6 The man replied, ‘I owe him 800 gallons of olive oil.’ So the manager told him, ‘Take the bill and quickly change it to 400 gallons.[a]’7 “‘And how much do you owe my employer?’ he asked the next man. ‘I owe him 1,000 bushels of wheat,’ was the reply. ‘Here,’ the manager said, ‘take the bill and change it to 800 bushels.’8 “The rich man had to admire the dishonest rascal for being so shrewd. And it is true that the children of this world are more shrewd in dealing with the world around them than are the children of the light
How did the crooked manager use his little bit of time and little opportunity to his benefit?
Read Luke 16:9
Here’s the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home
How is our money a tool?
Pastor said “We ask what will we have to show for it? Jesus asks the better question, Who will you have to show for it?”
How is that a different perspective than what we normally have?
Read Luke 16:10-12
10 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. 11 And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven? 12 And if you are not faithful with other people’s things, why should you be trusted with things of your own?
What is the difference between worldly wealth and true riches mentioned?
Pastor said, “How we manage what we assume is ours reflects our devotion to the one to whom it actually belongs.”
How does this explain the idea from these scriptures that God sees our money as a test?
How is God testing our manager skills with the little bit he has given us?
Read Luke16:13
13 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money.”
Pastor said, ” What you do with what you have signifies whose you are.”
How does that quote explain the idea of this verse?
How does this identify our money as a trademark?
We have been given a little bit of time and a little opportunity.
Reflecting on our money and possessions, how are you using them as a tool?
Are you passing the test?
Is the trademark of ownership of whose you are reflected in your finances?
What are some perspectives and opinions, if any need to be adjusted to line up with your Heavenly Father's perspectives about what you perceive to be yours?
Read Luke 16:9
Here’s the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home
THE SUM OF IT ALL | WEEK 1
The Sum of Meaning
In all its subtle forms, greed has the potential to rob your life. But the secret to living a meaning-filled life is found across the border from what’s in it for me.
Discussion Questions:
Jesus instructed us to be on guard against “all kinds of greed.
How would you describe a greedy person?
Would you consider yourself greedy at times?
Greed manifests itself in time, money & hospitality.
Which of these areas does greed manifest in your life?
Purpose is defined as “the reason for which something was created and exists.”
Remember the Pastor used the example of the shovel and its purpose of digging holes.
The shovel like us was created to be the means to an end, not the end itself.
Likewise, we are created to be a means to an end and we are not the end ourselves.
How does that thought strike you?
When was the last time you experienced joy as a result of serving as a means to an end?
Are you currently giving a portion of life to something beyond you that doesn’t benefit you? If so, how? If not, why not?
Read Luke 12:13–21
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”
14 Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” 15 Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”
16 And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. 17 He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’
18 “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. 19 And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’
20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’
21 “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”
Throughout this series, we will ask the question, What breaks your heart? Do you have a clear answer to that question?
If so, what is it?
If not, why do you think that is and what can you do about it?
Remember:
The Sum of it all is to live a meaning-filled life that is found across the border from what’s in it for me.
FOLLOW | WEEK 8
Follow: Unfollowers
INTRODUCTION
Jesus invites everyone to follow him. Being a sinner is a prerequisite. Having doubts is a prerequisite.
That’s because we’re all sinners, and we all have doubts.
Following Jesus results in overwhelming faith, but at times, it can also be inconvenient, costly, and even embarrassing. It can cause us to miss opportunities, lose business, or stand out in the crowd when we’d rather fit in. Even Jesus’ earliest followers wrestled with this tension. But one of his disciples asked a question that put everything in perspective: “To whom shall I go?”
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Do you embarrass easily? What kinds of things embarrass you?
Talk about a time when you were embarrassed by a friend or family member. How did you respond?
Read John 6:56–61.
56 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. 57 Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” 59 He said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum. 60 On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” 61 Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you?
Are there things Jesus said or did that offend you or that used to offend you?
Explain.
In the message, Pastor said, “Questions tend to complicate things. Considering the options simplifies them.”
Do you agree? Why or why not?
When has following Jesus been inconvenient, embarrassing, or costly for you?
What did you do?
Is transition, trouble, or temptation currently getting in the way of your ability to follow Jesus?
What can this group do to support you?
MOVING FORWARD
When transition, trouble, or temptation cause you to question your faith, consider the options. When you do, the fog will begin to lift. You will find the courage and strength to believe. And on the other side of your doubt, you will experience the faithfulness of God. When you doubt, you’ve got to ask, “If not Jesus, who? If not Christianity, what?”
CHANGING YOUR MIND
“We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:69
FOLLOW | WEEK 7
Follow: Leading Great
INTRODUCTION
We don’t usually associate leadership with the church. Leadership is about what could and should be.
We assume the church is about what has been. But Jesus was the greatest leader who ever lived. He
modeled a unique approach to leadership that defies our expectations and changed the world.
Jesus leveraged his authority for the benefit of those under his authority. Following Jesus means that,
when we find ourselves in positions of authority, we do the same.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Who is a famous leader that you admire? What do you admire about that person?
Talk about a leader in your life—a parent, boss, or coach—that has had a big influence over you.
What was it about that leader that made him or her special?
Have you ever been under the authority of a poor leader?
If so, what did it cost you?
In the message, Pastor says that great leaders ask the question, “What can I do to help?”
Do you agree?
How does it challenge your assumptions about leadership?
Over whom do you have authority at work or at home?
In light of Pastor’s message, in what ways can you change your current approach to leading?
Think about someone you lead.
What is one thing you can do this week to leverage your authority for that person’s benefit?
What can this group do to support you?
MOVING FORWARD
Whether you’re a parent, a boss, or a coach, you’re a leader in someone’s life. Leading like Jesus means serving. It means leveraging your authority on behalf of those under your authority. It means looking for opportunities to do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.
Imagine what would happen in our communities, our nation, and the world if Christians were leaders like that in their homes and workplaces.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45
FOLLOW | WEEK 6
Follow: What I Want to Want
INTRODUCTION
Most of us don’t become Christians with the intent of following Jesus. We become Christians because we were told obedience pays and disobedience doesn’t. We become Christians hoping that spirituality will fill a hole in our souls. We become Christians hoping God will fix us or fix someone we know.
Eventually, our agendas clash with Jesus’ and we have to decide whether we’ll abandon him or follow.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Talk about something you really wanted in life, whether during adulthood or when you were a child.
What did you do to try to get it? Did you succeed?
Have you ever seen someone put aside his or her wants in order to follow God’s will?
How did that person’s actions influence your own faith?
Talk about a time when you felt a tension between God’s will and your own.
What did you do?
In the message, Pastor said, “God’s hand can’t be forced. His will can’t be thwarted. That god doesn’t exist.”
How does that statement challenge the way you think about God?
What comfort do you find in it?
Have you ever had to give something up —a dream, an ambition, money, career advancement—in order to follow Jesus? Explain.
What is one area of your life that you need to say no to yourself and follow Jesus?
What can this group do to support you?
MOVING FORWARD
It’s better to follow God’s will than to try to impose our own. Following God’s will means wanting what
he wants more than what we want. For most of us, that begins with wanting to want what he wants
more than what we want. So, before you turn your back on God, before you dismiss him, before you
allow your disappointment with him to drive you to a decision you most certainly will regret later, pray:
“Heavenly Father, I want to want what you want more than what I want.”
CHANGING YOUR MIND
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
Luke 22:42
FOLLOW | WEEK 5
FOLLOW: The Fine Print
INTRODUCTION
During his time on earth, Jesus invited misbehavers and unbelievers to follow him. We are all invited
to follow him. You are invited to follow him, but there’s something you need to know about following
Jesus. It will cost you something eventually.
It may cost you money, career advancement, or even relationships. That’s because Jesus offers us the choice of denying ourselves now or losing ourselves later.
But you’ll find that when you pay the price for following Jesus, you’ll be glad you did.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
When you were a child, what did you dream your adulthood would be like?
How does your current reality align with those childhood dreams?
Talk about a time when you knew you were supposed to do something difficult.
Did you do it?
What was the outcome?
Have you ever seen someone else pay a price for deciding to follow Jesus?
How did that person’s experiences influence your own faith?
Has your faith ever cost you something?
If so, how has paying that price changed your relationship with God?
Read Mark 8:34–36.
34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save their life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?
How do Jesus’ words challenge you?
In what ways do they give you comfort?
Are you currently being nudged to do something, say something, quit something, start something, or give up something?
What can this group do to support you?
MOVING FORWARD
Salvation is a free gift. It costs us nothing.
Following Jesus eventually costs us something, but your soul is worth more than whatever following Jesus costs you.
God has been faithful to you in the past, and he will continue to be faithful to you during challenging seasons. One day you’ll look back on the price you paid, the things you gave up, and you’ll be glad you chose to follow Jesus.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple
must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Mark 8:34
FOLLOW | WEEK 4
WEEK 4: Follow Wear
INTRODUCTION:
Everyone is invited to follow Jesus. Being a sinner doesn’t disqualify you. Being a doubter doesn’t disqualify you. The goal of following Jesus is a faith that overcomes our fear of the future or our current circumstances. It’s a faith that gives us peace. But what do people who follow Jesus look like? What do they wear?
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What’s your favorite sports team? To what extremes have you gone to show your support for your team?
When you think of the word “Christian,” what qualities come to mind?
Are they positive or negative? Why?
Talk about a time when you encountered a Christian who was more interested in making a point than making a difference.
How did that person affect the way you viewed Jesus?
In the message, Pastor said, “All religions gravitate toward rule-keeping instead of relationship
building.” Do you agree with that statement? Why or why not?
Read Colossians 3:12–14.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
What are some of the challenges to living the kind of life Jesus calls his followers to live?
Think of one person in your life who is difficult to love. What is one thing you can do this week to better love that person? What can this group do to support you?
MOVING FORWARD:
Following Jesus means clothing yourself in patience, gentleness, kindness, compassion, humility, forgiveness, and love. That kind of faith is powerful. It’s the kind of faith that makes a difference instead of just making a point. Imagine how that kind of faith would change people’s perceptions of the church. Imagine how it would change communities . . . nations . . . the world.
CHANGING YOUR MIND:
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12
Mother’s Day
Mother's Day: Reflections
Discussion Guide
Scriptures: Matthew 11:28-30, Genesis 1:27, Jeremiah 1:5, 1 John 3:1
Big Idea: When we seek to find our identity in Jesus, we are beautifully complete.
How do you celebrate Mother’s Day?
What can make Mother’s Day tough for some?
Who is the woman that had the most influence on you and why?
How often do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Tell the truth, men!
Husbands, how do you respond to your wife when she asks you about her outfit?
Women, why do you ask us questions?
What is the right answer?
How does keeping our appearance affect us?
What is your favorite vacation place or place of rest?
Read Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
7. Why is this the perfect solution for men and women?
Read Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.
8. According to this verse how does God see you?
Why does it matter?
How does knowing what God thinks about you change how you think about you?
9. How can we as men, husbands, and fathers be better at making the females in our lives feel how valued and beautiful they are?
GUARDRAILS |WEEK 5
GUARDRAILS: THE HEART OF THE MATTER
INTRODUCTION
Guardrails keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas. We need personal guardrails so we don’t stray into areas of life that can harm us or the people we love. It’s vital to erect guardrails around our hearts. An unguarded heart can overpower our most guarded behavior. What’s done cannot be undone. What’s said cannot be unsaid. Our behavior defines the quality of our relationships and our lives.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
When have you seen someone blow up a marriage, finances, or a career when something on their inside got loose on the outside?
Read Proverbs 4:23.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
What connections do you see between what’s in your heart and the way you behave? How has what is in your heart influenced your relationships with others? How has it influenced your relationship with God?
During the message, the Pastor said “God is more bothered by how we treat others than by how we follow religious rules.
Has a religious rule ever caused you to treat someone poorly? If so, what happened?
Read Philippians 4:6–7.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “non” and 10 being “I’m overwhelmed,” how much anxiety are you currently experiencing in life?
Does the idea of addressing your anxiety by thanking God and taking your requests to him seem realistic? Why or why not?
Do any of these emotions regularly ding your conscience—guilt (“I owe you”), anger (“you owe me”), greed (“I owe me”), or jealousy (“God owes me”)?
What is one thing you can do this week to begin to establish a guardrail around your heart?
What can you do to take a step toward confessing if you feel guilt, forgiving if you feel anger, giving if you feel greed, or celebrating if you feel jealousy?
How can this group support you?
MOVING FORWARD
Are you angry? Do you have hurt feelings? Have you recently broken a promise? Do you have secrets? Are you obsessed with something somebody did to you? Is there stuff from your past you can’t let go of? Are you celebrating someone else’s misfortune? If everything isn’t okay in your heart, it’s time to establish a guardrail. It’s time to confess, forgive, give, and celebrate.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23
GUARDRAILS | WEEK 4
GUARDRAILS: MONEY MATTERS
INTRODUCTION
Guardrails keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas. We need personal guardrails so we don’t stray into areas of life that can harm us or the people we love. When it comes to our finances, it’s easy to cross the line into the danger zone. That’s why it’s essential to establish guardrails against greed.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Are you a saver or a spender?
In what ways have you benefited from that tendency?
In what ways has it created challenges for you?
How much do you value generosity toward those in need?
Based on your current finances, to what extent are you able to prioritize generosity toward others?
In what ways, if any, would you like your current level of generosity to change?
During the message, Pastor said, “You can be completely out of debt with money in the bank and have driven off the edge financially.”
Do you agree that you can be financially responsible but still have an unhealthy relationship with money? Why or why not?
Read Matthew 6:24.
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
In what ways do you currently “serve money”?
How do you think that affects your relationship with God?
On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being, “I’d have to make a few changes” and 10 being, “It feels impossible,” how difficult would it be to reprioritize your finances from “live, save, give” to “give, save, live”?
Read Matthew 6:25-32
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
6. How much do you worry about money?
Does it ever help?
How does knowing your heavenly Father knows your needs affect your attitude about money and worry?
7. What is your best next step toward establishing a guardrail against greed by prioritizing giving?
What is one thing you can do this week to begin to take that step?
How can this group support you?
Read Matthew 6:33
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
8. Establish guardrails around greed.
The best way to avoid greed and irresponsibility is to give, save, and live . . . in that order.
9. Why is giving to the church important?
To begin, pick a percentage and give it first to a church you trust that is making a difference in your life and community.
10. According to the message, Why is giving to other charities before emergencies important?
That’s how you guard against greed.
That’s how to ensure you have money, but money doesn’t have you.
GUARDRAILS | WEEK 3
GUARDRAILS: FOREVER YOURS
INTRODUCTION
Guardrails keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas. We need personal guardrails so we don’t stray into areas of life that can harm us or the people we love. If there’s one area in which personal guardrails are most needed but also most resisted, it’s in our relationships.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
In what ways, for good or bad, did your friends influence you growing up?
Who do you know whose life would have been better if he or she had had relational guardrails?
Read 1 Corinthians 6:18–20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
What do you think it looks like to honor God with our bodies?
How might putting that into practice affect your relationships with other people?
During the message, Pastor called sexual sin “uniquely damaging” because we can never fully escape the damage it does.
Do you agree that it can make you a liar and secret-keeper for life? Why or why not?
Is it difficult for you to believe that you are a sacred image bearer of God?
Why or why not? If you were to embrace that truth, how would it influence the decisions you make going forward?
Do you need to begin to flee from instead of flirt with sexual immorality?
What are some specific guardrails you need to establish?
Share them with your group if you’re comfortable doing so. What can your group do to support you?
MOVING FORWARD
The point of a guardrail is to light up your conscience before you hurt yourself or others. If that sounds extreme, dangerous environments call for extreme measures. When it comes to your relationships, honor God, yourself, your spouse, your kids, and your future spouse and kids. Flee; don’t flirt.
GUARDRAILS | WEEK 2
GUARDRAILS: PROXIMITY
INTRODUCTION
Have you ever met someone that later you wish you’d never met?
Is there a person that you wish someone in your family had never met?
Sometimes, people are our greatest regrets because they influence us to ignore our guardrails and step into the danger zone.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Friends influence the direction and quality of your life.
Who is someone in your life that has stood by you in good times and bad?
Talk about a time when you saw someone suffer because of his or her relationships. What happened?
Read Proverbs 13:20.
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
Who is a person in your life whose wisdom you rely on?
In what ways have you seen his/her wisdom influence you over time?
Is there someone that looks to you for wisdom?
How does that impact the way that you attempt to influence them in positive ways?
During the message Pastor said,
“Judgmental is when I draw a harsh conclusion about you.
Good judgment is when I draw conclusions about myself based on wisdom.”
To what extent has not wanting to be judgmental drawn you into unhealthy relationships in the past?
How do the message definitions of judgmental and good judgment change your perspective?
During the message, Pastor said, “Friends can be dangerous. And danger requires guardrails.
You need to establish a standard that informs your conscience.”
In what area of your life do you need to establish a standard?
What first step could you take to establish that standard?
Do you have a relationship that could benefit from guardrails?
What can you do to begin to establish guardrails?
What obstacles will you have to overcome?
How can this group support you?
MOVING FORWARD
Friends influence the direction and quality of your life.
Is your core group moving in the direction you want your life to move?
Can you be yourself with that core group, or do you have to pretend you are someone you’re not?
Do you often feel pressure to compromise?
If so, it’s time to establish some relational guardrails.
What does that look like?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Are there some relationships you might need to walk away from?
How can we pray for you in that?
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20
GUARDRAILS | Week 1
Week 1: DIRECT AND PROTECT
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
INTRODUCTION
Guardrails are designed to keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas.
They minimize damage by keeping us in the safety zone. But the highway isn’t the only place we need guardrails.
When was a time that your greatest regrets would have been avoided if you had established personal guardrails?
In the message, the Pastor listed four areas where guardrails may be helpful: finances, relationships, morality, and profession.
What is a guardrail you have established in one or more of these areas that has helped you the most?
What was your initial reaction to what the message referred to as the “Billy Graham Rule”?
Do you think it’s a good idea?
Is it too extreme?
Do you think it can penalize women in the workplace?
When we establish guardrails and safety zones, the culture can be confusing and often critical.
We can be accused of being judgmental when we are actually trying to have good judgement.
According to the message, what is the difference between being judgmental and having good judgment?
Being judgmental is me half-forming an opinion about you and your behavior.
Good judgment is about you, and I drawing conclusions from our own lives, considering my past experience, and knowing our own danger areas.
Read Ephesians 5:15–16.
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,
How does living carefully make us wise?
16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
Opportunity is defined as a set of circumstances that make it possible to do something.
What does it mean to “make the most of every opportunity” and why are the days evil?
Read Ephesians 5:17–18
17 Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the Lord’s will is.
Do you think that we can overcomplicate and over-spiritualize what God’s will really is for us?
How can guardrails keep us moving forward in God’s will?
18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,
Have you, or ever known anyone who has made their best decision when they were drunk?
MOVING FORWARD
Stepping away from what has the potential to harm you is stepping in the direction of the One who loves you.
God isn’t trying to keep you away from something; he is drawing you toward someone—himself.