Love, Dates, & Heartbreaks | Week 4

Groundhog Date  

Many times, we learn from our mistakes in the areas that matter least, but we repeat our mistakes in the areas that matter most. So how can we ensure that the next time won’t be like the last time? Instead of being a conformer, it’s time to be a transformer.  

Discussion Questions

1. Name some areas in life where people quickly learn from and correct their mistakes.  

2. In relationships, why is it difficult to correct many of our behavior patterns?  

3. Check out these myths. Do you need to undo any of these beliefs? If so, which ones?  

   • Experience Myth: Experience will make me wiser.  

   Truth: Evaluated experience will make you wiser.  

   • Know-Better Myth: Since I know better, I’ll do better.  

   Truth: Know better ≠ Do better.  

   • Time Myth: Time is against me.  

   Truth: Time is your friend.  

4. What’s your initial reaction to the notion “Time is your friend”?  

5. Read Romans 12:1–2.  Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  

   • Why would Paul use the word “urge” here? 
   • Would you characterize yourself as a conformer or a transformer?  

   - Conformer: Repeats the same patterns, particularly patterns that have been culturally accepted as standard behavior.  

   - Transformer: Intentionally chooses to learn from the past and change regardless of cultural norms. Will take the time to evaluate the past and own their mistakes.

6. To be able to renew your mind, it may be healthy to take a year off from dating. What would be your biggest reservation about doing that?

   Changing Your Mind  

   If you don’t want the next time to be like the last time, do something different in the meantime.