Series: Don’t Take The Bait / Week 3 (9/20-9/27)

ICEBREAKER

When you say “I’m fine” but you’re definitely NOT fine, what gives you away every time? Do you get quiet? Give one-word answers? Clean aggressively? Slam cabinets? Avoid eye contact? Suddenly become “really tired”? Or do you make sure EVERYONE knows you’re not fine?

TRANSITION

Sometimes we think we’ve dealt with an offense simply because we haven't talked about it. We stuff it down, act like it's no big deal, and keep moving. But just because we're ignoring an offense doesn't mean we're free from it. Sometimes we carry it so long that everyone else can see the weight we're carrying before we can.

DISCUSS

1. Why do you think we sometimes choose to ignore an offense instead of dealing with it? Are we afraid of conflict? Rejection? Making things worse? Or do we simply not know what to say?

READ 1 Kings 19:9–10
“There he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the LORD came to him: ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ He replied, ‘I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.’”

2. What can Elijah's “cave” teach us about what happens when we isolate ourselves while we're hurt?

3. Why can hurt make us feel alone?

4. How can having Godly people around us help us see a situation differently?

READ 1 Kings 19:11–12
“The LORD said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”

5. What “noise” can make it difficult for us to hear God's voice when we're offended?

READ Matthew 18:15
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

6. Why is going directly to someone often harder than talking about them to someone else?

GET PRACTICAL:

READ Matthew 18:16–17
“But if they will not listen, take one or two others along… If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

Jesus gives three steps: confront privately, bring in help when necessary, and involve a caring spiritual community when the issue remains unresolved.

7. What do these steps teach us about how much God values both truth and relationships?

GET PERSONAL:

You don't have to share names or details, but ask yourself:

· What offense am I carrying around?

· Have I actually dealt with it—or just ignored it?

· Is there a conversation I've been avoiding?

· Could God be asking me to take the first step toward healing?

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE

Before you ghost them, block them, avoid them, or simply carry the offense, pray: “God, how can You use me to help bring healing?”

PRAYER

Ask Jesus to reveal any offense you've been ignoring or carrying like an “ankle weight.” Ask Him for the wisdom, courage, humility, and love to have the conversations that need to happen—and to help you pursue healing instead of hiding and reconciliation instead of avoidance.