Staying in Love | Week 4
Staying in Love #4: Multiple Choice Marriage
INTRODUCTION
1 Corinthians 13 is a popular passage from the Bible that many couples include in their wedding ceremonies. Its description of love is inspiring. Yet, upon further examination, you’ll also find specific instructions that, when applied, will result in long-lasting, love-filled relationships.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What is the best piece of advice you’ve heard about making a relationship last?
2. What has been the most impactful piece of advice from “Staying in Love” that you can apply to a current relationship (or a future relationship)?
3. Do you have high expectations in your relationships, or do you expect very little from those around you? Explain.
4. When there is a gap between what you expect from people and what they actually do, do you fill that gap by “believing the best” or “assuming the worst”? Give an example.
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, the apostle Paul defines love with multiple descriptors.
5. Which descriptors of loving come easy to you? Which aspects of loving do you find difficult?
6. What specific steps can you take this week to fill the gaps in your relationships by choosing to trust and believing the best?
MOVING FORWARD
Gaps occur all the time in relationships. There are gaps between what we expect from others and what they actually do. And in response, we can choose to trust and believe the best, or we can choose the opposite and fill those gaps with negative assumptions. Or, as it says in 1 Corinthians 13, we can choose to protect, trust, hope, and persevere. Relationships will grow or fade depending on what you choose to place in those gaps.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
It (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:7
Staying in Love | Week 3
Staying in Love #3: Feelin’ It
INTRODUCTION
How can two people stand at an altar and swear they will love each other until “death do us part” and then just a few years later hate each other more than they have ever hated anyone? How can the person to whom she gave her deepest vow become the person she despises most? In this message, we provided insight on how to not only fall in love, but also to stay in love.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
We all bring emotional “baggage” into our romantic relationships.
1. What are some reasons romantic relationships reveal this baggage more than any other kind of relationship?
2. Our ‘baggage’ frequently results from family or romantic relationships. What are some specific experiences that have most contributed to your baggage?
Read Proverbs 4:23.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
In this verse, Solomon, famous for his wisdom, says to guard your heart above all else.
3. Do you agree with Solomon? Even if you disagree, can you think of some reasons why Solomon would place such value on guarding your heart?
4. Your ability to feel certain things is determined by the condition of your heart.
Why is this more important than your partner’s behavior?
How does the second half of Proverbs 4:23 support this assertion?
5. Unspoken emotions have a great deal of power over us. Why does verbalizing a specific emotion take away that power?
6. Oftentimes, we feel defensive when our partners come to us and say, “When you do ________, I feel _________.”
7. There are no bad feelings; when we share feelings, we are providing an observation, not a criticism.
What should be our response to this type of observation?
Why is this so difficult to do?
MOVING FORWARD
What’s inside of you is coming out. And it’s not coming out because of whom you are with, but because it was in you to begin with. If you want to stay in love, you must pay attention to what is in there, so that you can own it. You must have a plan to guard your heart—a plan that begins with thinking about and identifying specific emotions, then communicating them. Will you commit to this plan?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
Staying in Love | Week 2
Staying in Love #2: Re-Modeling
INTRODUCTION
While it is easier than ever to fall in love, it is harder than ever to stay in love. And no one wants to fall in love and just endure. We want to stay in love. Is this even possible? If so, what should our plan be? In this message, Andy answers both of these questions by sharing a blueprint for enduring love.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Who is the most famous person you have ever met?
How did you interact with that person?
2. What is your most valued material possession?
Describe this possession and how you treat it.
3. Read Philippians 2:3-4.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
4. What are some things you can do this week to “value others above yourselves?”
Specifically, how can you apply this idea to someone you love?
Read Philippians 2:5-7.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness.
5. Describe a time when you saw someone with position or power choose to serve rather than to leverage that position or status for his own benefit?
How did you feel when you saw that?
Were you surprised by his actions?
We can't have it both ways.
We all must face the dilemma between choosing what we deserve or choosing submission.
6. What does he mean by this? Why can't we have it both ways?
7. In what ways can you choose to submit to the person you love this week?
MOVING FORWARD
To stay in love, you have to choose to love each other how Christ loved us. In other words, you have to choose to treat the person you love as the most important person in the world to you. You must be willing to put them first. What is keeping you from this? Is it worth missing out on the love relationship that God designed for you?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. Philippians 2:5-7
Staying in Love | Week 1
Staying in Love #1: The Juno Dilemma
INTRODUCTION
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love and being committed to each other is a bit more difficult. Ever wonder if people can stay together for good. . . like people in love? Is it even possible for two people to stay happy together forever?
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Describe the first person you fell in love with. What made you fall in love?
Have you fallen in love with anyone since then?
2. Why do you think there are over 1,500 matchmaking organizations in this country?
Why is there such a demand?
3. Has it become harder or easier to fall in love even though there are so many matchmaking opportunities?
4. What unwritten rules of love (both healthy and unhealthy) did you learn from your family of origin?
5. How have those rules surfaced in your current relationships?
Read John 13:34
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
In John 13:34, Jesus identifies love as a verb, not a noun.
6. What are some concrete differences between feeling love and doing love?
Read Ephesians 5:21
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
In Ephesians 5:21, Paul refers to mutual submission.
7. What does mutual submission look like in the context of a romantic relationship?
8. What steps can you take this week to proactively love someone, rather than reacting to what someone else does or does not do for you?
MOVING FORWARD
The key to staying in love is not finding the right person. It’s finding someone who is committed to becoming the right person while you work to become the right person. It’s finding someone who is not afraid to put you first while you overcome your fear of putting him or her first. It’s about making love a verb.
CHANGING YOUR MIND
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
John 13:34
New Normal | Week 5
New Normal: Selfless
Big Idea: Obedience to God from a selfless heart will bring about the life we have tried to achieve and failed through a selfish heart.
Getting Started
When was a time you disobeyed a rule or someone in authority and ended up regretting it?
What is the difference between obedience in our relationship with God and salvation through grace in Christ?
What are some motives that lead us to obey God?
Read John 14:15 Jesus Said,
If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
4. How can love motivate us to obedience and reflect our relationship with God?
What is something you do, not because you want to, or even enjoy doing, but because of love?
How has God been selfless in His love for us?
God never makes a rule just to be mean; it is always for our protection.
Craig Groeschel said this about obedience:
I believe Christians often perceive obedience to God as some test designed to see if we are committed to Him. But what if it’s designed as God’s way of giving us what’s best for us.
5. How does the world tell us we can get what is best for us?
Read Romans 8:5-6:
“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires, but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of a sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.”
6. What are the differences between nature desires and Spirit desires?
Read Galatians 5:22-24
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
7. How does our family, or others around us, benefit when we are obedient?
How do you “crucify the flesh with its passion and desires”?
Read James 1:22. 22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.
Remember the chair illustration from Sunday.
These three chairs reflect our relationship with God.
Chair 1
Are the people who understand that the selfless act of obeying God leads us to be our best, and get the best from our relationship with Him. (Married)
Chair 2
Reflects one who wants the benefits of the relationship with God but has yet to give up their independence or control and be completely committed with their hearts to the relationship. (Doesn’t want to put a ring on it)
Chair 3
Is the one who has never entered the relationship and is still trying to make it on their own, without God.
(All out Single, and don’t know what they want)
Next Step.
What chair are you in?
New Normal | Week 4
Big Idea: Change always begins with doing something different than you did in the past.
Getting Started
What is one positive impact that believers or the church have made on your life?
Are “Christians” known for making a positive impact on the world?
From the message this week, how did the early church show the world the difference Jesus made?
*Leaders Notes for reference
In the Roman Empire, right after the crucifixion of Jesus and his resurrection, two massive pandemics hit them.
The first was the Antonine Plague in 165 A.D.
Most historians would say it was the first worldwide outbreak of smallpox with no vaccine, and no way of fighting it.
The second happens a little later called, the Cyprian plague in 249 A.D.
And they believe that the Cyprian plague, which ends up being a little bit worse, is potentially the first outbreak of measles or even Ebola.
There is no vaccine.
There is no hospital system to help.
It just spreads like crazy.
The Cyprian plague -five thousand people a day died in Rome - repeatedly.
This plague wipes out 1/4 of the Roman Empire.
In fact, we know from history that when a plague hit, even the first few physicians they had ran out of the city.
The Turning Point
Christians stepped up with a level of love and generosity the world had never seen before.
During these two pandemics, it was followers of Jesus that led the way to show the world generosity.
This is documented by secular historians; history shows the generosity of Christians during pandemics led people to take notice of Jesus.
4. How would you describe a generous person?
Read John 13:34- Jesus said,
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
5. What are the characteristics of Jesus’ love for us?
Read Act 4:32-35
All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had. 33 The apostles testified powerfully to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God’s great blessing was upon them all. 34 There were no needy people among them because those who owned land or houses would sell them 35 and bring the money to the apostles to give to those in need.
6. How does this description of the first church differ from what the world thinks about Christians today?
7. How do these descriptions challenge what you believe we should do as believers?
8. Faith sees best in the dark. Don’t blame the dark for being dark. Instead, let your light shine in the dark.
Next Step: Be the Difference
What is one action you can take this week to show Jesus’ kind of love and sacrifice to others?
Pray that God would give you His heart of generosity and genuine love towards others, then hold on and be amazed at the difference He will make in others' lives through you.
New Normal | Week 3
Big Idea: Change always begins with doing something different than you did in the past.
Getting Started
What is a New Year’s resolution that you have made for yourself?
What will need to change for you to accomplish this goal?
Change always begins with doing something different than you did in the past.
Read Exodus 3:7
And the Lord said: “I have surely seen the oppression of My people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows.”
God knows our frustration of where we are. He hears us and wants to take us where we need to be.
2. What keeps us from making the changes we know we need to? Fear? Laziness? Excuses?
Read Exodus 14:10-12
And when Pharaoh drew near, the children of Israel lifted their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians marched after them. So they were very afraid, and the children of Israel cried out to the Lord. 11 Then they said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you so dealt with us, to bring us up out of Egypt? 12 Is this not the word that we told you in Egypt, saying, ‘Leave us alone, that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than that we should die in the wilderness.”
When the cost of change got difficult, the children of Israel wanted to go back to what was destroying them and away from what God had promised.
3. Have you ever made a change that didn’t have some degree of sacrifice or difficulty involved?
Change is always difficult but also beneficial.
There is always a desert before the promise land.
Read Exodus 14:14
The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.
Are you relying on your own strength and willpower for change?
Have you invited God to join your battle against this need for change?
God provided the way for the Israelites to escape, but they had to trust God and move forward through the difficulty.
Read Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Next Step: Choose to Change
Write down one real life change you need to make.
Embrace the change you need.
Submit it to God and invite him to the battle.
When the going gets tough, and it always will, don’t give up and run back to what is comfortable.
Instead, focus on the promise and benefits beyond the challenge, knowing that God is fighting with you and for you.
Invite another believer to join you and help you with encouragement and accountability.
New Normal | Week 2
Big Idea: Gratitude turns what you have into all you need.
Getting Started
Have you ever done something for someone, and it went unacknowledged? Not even a “Thank You” from anyone.
What was your reaction?
How did it make you feel?
Read: Luke 17:11-12
11 Now, on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”14 When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. 15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”
One of the most basic and simple words we can say is “Thank you.”
What may be the reasons we forget to say thank you?
Gratitude is a habit that we must establish to be part of who we are.
Read Philippians Chapter 4:11-12
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
2. What is the difference between a need and a want?
How much time do you think about your wants verse being grateful for what you have?
3. Pastor said, “When we focus on what we have, it creates an abundance mindset.”
How would an Abundance Mindset benefit us…
…physically?
…emotionally?
…spiritually?
It turns out it's not happy people who are grateful. It's grateful people who are happy
4. Only when we change our mindset and create a habit of being grateful can we truly enjoy all the blessings we have.
Read: Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.
Next Step: Sticky Challenge
Take the sticky notes you received Sunday and write a prayer grateful to God for someone in your life.
Your spouse
a friend
a coworker
Someone who has had a positive impact on your life.
Then stick that prayer where that person can find and read it.
New Normal | Week 1
Big Idea: We are the church, and together we worship and grow so we may go into the world and help others find the same hope we have in Christ.
Getting Started
How are some ways that you have had to learn to connect and communicate with others within the last two years?
What was something you did but didn’t enjoy communicating with others over the past two years?
What did you find useful and continue to use to connect and communicate?
Read: Genesis 1:26-27
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So, God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (NIV)
4. Who else is God talking to in this passage? (Jesus and the Holy Spirit)
God, the father, God, the son, God, the Spirit together lived in community.
5. Since God is a relational God, what does that say about us being created in his image?
The need for community is in our biology and psychology.
Everybody needs somebody
6. Why do we need others?
Read I Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?
7. How does this scripture confirm that we are never alone?
When the Bible says, “You are God’s temple,” the “you” is plural. “Y’all” are God’s Temple.
According to the message, what makes us God’s Temple? The Holy Spirit inside of you and me makes us God’s Temple
8. As a believer, where can we go that God is not with us?
When we go out into the world, God goes with us.
This should make us want to act differently than the world without God and live attractive lives.
People will want to know why we are different, and we can begin to build relationships with them.
We can share our story of the difference God has made in us.
We can give them an opportunity to receive Christ or invite them to church to hear the gospel presented.
By investing and inviting, we can change our world together with God’s Spirit in us.
9. How can Jesus become more the center of your conversations with others and not everything else going on around you?
Next Step
21 Day Prayer Challenge
Read Matthew 18:19-20
This is Jesus speaking “Again, truly I say to you that if two believers on earth agree about anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
Prayer is one of the most powerful and yet most unused resources we have.
We ask every owner to join us in praying for the next 21 Days’ because if you do something 21 days in a row, it becomes a habit.
We are asking everyone to pray for something very specific every day. You can find the list at tff.church or follow us on social media. Each day we will have a sample video to guide you in how to pray that day.
We believe God will begin to do amazing things as we pray and go out into the world empowered by his spirit.
If Money Talked | Week 4
Money Says: What you do with me speaks volumes about who and whose you are.
Read Luke 12:16-21
16 And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. 17 He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’18 “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. 19 And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’21 “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”
Discussion:
What was the mistake the rich man-made?
What’s your tendency when it comes to extra stuff you no longer need?
I hang on to everything because you never know when you might need it again.
I hang on to it for a while, but I eventually take inventory and give the extra away.
I give it away right away. If I haven’t used it recently, it’s out the door.
Money is a tool that can add meaning to your life.
When is a time you saw someone leveraging their money to make their life meaningful?
What do you want people to celebrate about you when you’re gone?
What do you want people to line up and thank you for in the end?
Where your treasure is there your heart will be also is a principle that works both ways.
To change where your heart is, change where your money is going.
You can give from a grateful heart or give from a broken heart.
What are some things you are grateful for?
What are some things that break your heart?
What may be keeping you or has kept you in the past from giving to organizations and causes you are passionate about?
Let’s put a twist on it and ask “What do you want your money to celebrate about you when you are gone?
What are the steps you can take today to allow that celebration to occur in the future?
We have looked at four pieces of advice money might give us if our money talked.
I can add meaning to your life, but I am not the meaning of life. Rethink the consumption assumption that may be hurting more than helping
The moment you think you own me I actually own you. Figure out where the money your managing for God is being sent and spent
My direction reveals your affection. Make God and others your priority by giving first saving second and spending the rest
What you choose to do with me speaks volumes about who and whose you are. Leverage your money to do something meaningful.
Which one resonated with you most? Where will you begin- what change (big or small) will you make in how you view or manage your money?
Remember:
No one who applies what Jesus taught about money to their personal finances ever regrets it.
If Money Talked | Week 3
Money Says: My direction reveals your ultimate direction.
Discussion:
There are essentially 5 things we do with money
Spend it
Repay Debt
Pay Taxes
Save it
Give it
Most of us do those five things in that order of me first living with some leftover giving.
Read: Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
What you spend your money on reveals what you care about most.
In our culture “me-first living with some leftover giving” is the typical way to handle money
Jesus invites us to reprioritize.
Give First
Save Second
Live on the Rest
How does this challenge you with your current spending?
As best you can review your top five expenses from the last month.
Would it be realistic for one of your five biggest expenses to fit the Give it (God and others) category?
Giving can be proactive or reactive.
Proactive is giving regularly to something
Reactive is giving as a need arises.
Which way does the majority of your giving lean?
Read Matthew 6:25-29, 33-34
5 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
What do these verse say to you?
Remember:
No one who applies what Jesus taught about money to their personal finances ever regrets it.
If Money Talked | Week 2
Money Says: You think you own me, actually I own you
Discussion:
True or false: Most of us allow our income to drive our spending.
Someone once said, “You work for your money, or your money works for you.”
The writer of proverbs put it this way…
Read Proverbs 22:7 The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.
When your spending exceeds your income, you become a slave.
When you manage someone else’s money are you responsible and accountable? Why? Why not?
Read Psalms 24:1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;
Read 1 Corinthians 10:26 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.
What is your first reaction to the idea that you are managing money that God has entrusted you with?
Does that match the way you’ve thought about money before?
The Challenge this week is to spy on your money.
Which answer best describes you as it relates to you knowing where your money goes?
I avoid thinking about it
I am mostly unaware of where it’s going
I know generally where it is going
I know exactly where it is going
If comfortable share and explain your answer.
Is there a time in your life when you would have answered differently?
Are you spending your money on those things that are most meaningful to you?
What are some things that you would spend money on now but what would that be and why?
Off the top of your head think about what you spent money on in the last week. Are any of those in your list from above?
This week track your spending.
Go digital
The Mint app or another spend tracking app
Keep a paper trail
Keep every receipt from every purchase than at the end of the week write it all down.
Write it Down, right away
Take a piece of paper with you every day and write every down where and for what every dime you spent.
Spend the same way
Use only one debit or credit card this week and then look at your expenses via your bank statement.
Tracking each expense will be a valuable tool to help you know how and when you’re spending your money and give you the ability to find ways to manage what God has given you to manage.
This will allow you to maintain or begin the process of making your money work for you.
Remember:
No one who applies what Jesus taught about money to their personal finances ever regrets it.
If Money Talked | Week 1
The Consumption Assumption:
Money Says: I can add meaning to your life, but I am not the meaning of life.
Discussion:
How was money handled in your house growing up?
What was modeled about money for you in the past often influences the assumption you hold about money today.
Which of the following statement do you strongly agree or strongly disagree? What might influence your answers?
The details of my finances should be kept private from family and friends
If I work hard, I have the right to play hard.
My salary and my possessions are an indication of my success.
Once I have everything I need, I should be generous with what I have left.
Carrying a balance on my credit card is okay
Giving my kids nice things is one way I show I love them.
Children should be told the details of our family finances.
Someone once said, “You work for your money, or your money works for you.”
Money can be a tool to add meaning to your life as it works for you.
Our money, or lack thereof also known as debt usually driven by greed, or I want it now instead of when I can afford it, can begin to control our lives.
The writer of proverbs put it this way…
Read: Proverbs 22:7 The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.
The Pastor said “greed is the assumption that it’s all for my consumption.”
What is your reaction to this definition?
Has your financial situation ever impacted whether you were able to do something you felt strongly to do?
Has your finances ever dictated your decisions? (Example, you wanted to stay home to raise your kids but you had to many bills so you couldn’t)
Read Luke 12:15 “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”
Read the next question and have each person reflect on their answer to themselves.
Have you shifted to autopilot in your finances?
Have you lost track of goals you once had especially the ones related to being generous?
What expenses are you trying to justify?
Are you willing to entertain another way of thinking about money?
Remember:
No one who applies what Jesus taught about money to their personal finances ever regrets it.
Take Back Your Life | Week 5
Series Big Idea: This Series will help you recognize what’s holding you back and equip you to embrace it head-on as you become the best version of yourself.
Discussion Guide 5
Sermon Big Idea:
The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of that opportunity – Leonard Ravenhill
Opening:
What is the best deal you ever passed up and regretted later?
What is the best deal you ever got on anything?
Read: Deuteronomy 1:20-21
20 I said to you, ‘You have now reached the hill country of the Amorites that the Lord our God is giving us. 21 Look! He has placed the land in front of you. Go and occupy it as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you. Don’t be afraid! Don’t be discouraged!’
Discuss:
After wandering around in the wilderness, the children of Israel have made it to the land God promised them.
According to these verses, what is required of the Israelites to take the gift God had promised them?
It seems too good to be true, doesn’t it?
What seemed to be the most logical next step for the Israelites was to send a group into the land to investigate.
What they discovered is the promise land was everything God said it was except someone was already living there and they were really big and had fortified cities.
What is the logical response when an opportunity meets an obstacle?
How easy is it to start questioning how legitimate an opportunity is when obstacles arise?
Read Numbers 13:26
30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.” 31 But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” 32 And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size.
Is the majority always, right?
All these men saw the same thing while investigating the land.
Why was Caleb’s response different from that of the rest of the group?
Why did the rest of the group feel the need to “spread a bad report?
Is it fair to say that a logical response is not always the right response when given an opportunity? Explain your answer.
Read Numbers 14:1-2
That night all the members of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. 2 All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, “If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this wilderness!
What were the facts of the opportunity before the people? God had already given them the land they just had to go get it.
Ever notice it is easier to spread negativity than it is to spread positivity?
Why is it easier for us to believe the negative rather than the positive when facing an opportunity?
Faith doesn’t always look logical or obstacle-free.
However, faith is beyond logic and can move any obstacle before us.
Lack of faith can be costly:
Read Numbers 14:11
11 The Lord said to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them? 12 I will strike them down with a plague and destroy them,
None of those who believed the majority entered the promise land
Only Caleb and Joshua who by faith in God saw beyond the logical and past the obstacles entered into God’s promise.
What are some opportunities you are facing?
Are they logical or obstacle-free?
Are you trusting God or believing the negativity?
Take Back Your Life | Week 4
Take Back Your life
Big Idea:
This series will help you recognize what’s holding you back and equip you to embrace it head on as you become the best version of yourself.
Big Idea: Whatever you are holding to is holding you back.
Opening
How can holding back hold us back?
What makes a risk, risky?
Discuss
In Genesis beginning in chapter 12, we see Abraham’s journey of faith.
There is a series of hits and misses as he is called by God to begin a new nation with a baron wife.
A journey of total obedience and total disobedience that finely leads God to ultimately test Abraham’s heart.
Read Genesis 21:1 Sometime later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied.
Abraham heard God because he was listening.
How does God speak to you? Are you listening?
Read Genesis 21:2-3 Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” 3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about.
According to what you heard in Sunday’s message what are the unusual events that take place in the passage?
Abraham getting up, loading the donkeys, and heading out showed Abraham had faith but was he completely faithful yet?
Why is partial obedience still disobedience?
Read Genesis 21:4-5 4 On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.” 6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?” “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied. “The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”8 Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.
Sometimes God asks us to do things that don’t make sense to us, and we discard it.
How do these verses show Abraham is trusting God without clearly understanding what was going on?
Read Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
We all want to be people of faith but what about when we can’t see what God is up to?
Abraham didn’t know how this day would end but he was trusting God even in the risk.
Even though he continued the journey and made bold statements of faith was he completely faithful yet?
Read Genesis 21:9-11 9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham! ” Here I am,” he replied.
At the moment Abraham “took out his hand and took the knife to slay his son” his faith was complete.
Partial obedience is disobedience.
It’s when we fully trust God and take the risk our faith is made complete.
Genesis 21:12-14 12 “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”13 Abraham looked up, and there in a thicket he saw a ram[a] caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”
Too many have missed the blessing by partially doing what is asked.
Have you ever tried to bargain with God when his asked seemed too great?
Only when we lay our Isaac on the alter can we see God’s true provide and show and grow in our relationship with him.
Oh, and did I mention how important it is to listen to God?
What would have happened if he had stopped listening?
Discuss:
Abraham could have been too busy taking care of all that was going on in his life and missed God’s voice.
He could have ignored God’s request because it was outrageous.
He could have bargained with God and not picked up the knife.
Are you keeping communication open with God and listening for his voice?
Are you willing to take the risk and find the reward of a deeper relationship with God?
Take Back Your Life | Week 3
Hold That Thought
Key Passage: Philippines 6:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Key Idea: If you can get your thought life under God's control, your life will not be out of control.
Discussion Starter:
You may have heard it said that the mind is a terrible thing to waste.
What do you spend the most of your time thinking about?
Are those thought used on what you believe to be your highest priority?
Read Philippians 6:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
What is the origin of our anxiety? Our Thoughts
If our thoughts are the source of our anxiety, are we thinking the right thoughts?
What are the keys in this passage to turn our thought process to bring peace and not anxiety?
What role do you believe a thankful attitude places in bringing our request to God?
Read Colossians 3:16
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
Together make a list. What is the message of Christ?
How does allowing his message to live in us change the way we think?
How will this affect not only our own lives but others around us?
Read Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
What does this verse mean?
How can it bring stability and help us to take back our lives?
Next Step:
We live in our minds. We carry out our thought in everyday life. How we think determines how we live.
We can choose to become a prisoner or set free by our thoughts alone.
What needs to change in your thought process to allow you to break free and take back your life?
Take Back Your Life | Week 2
Series Big Idea: This Series will help you recognize what’s holding you back and equip you to embrace it head-on as you become the best version of yourself.
Discussion Guide 2
Sight for Sore Eyes
Sermon Big Idea: What are you doing with what you have been given?
Opening:
Have you ever made a food dish the was awful? What went wrong?
Why are recipes so important?
Discuss:
Are you familiar with the acrostic GIGO?
It is used in the programing and data entry of computer techs.
Garbage in Garbage out.
It means if the programing is faulty i.e. garbage or the data is wrong i.e. garbage then it will only produce more faulty program or wrong data i.e. garbage
Read: Matthew 6:22-23
22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.
23 But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
What does this scripture tell us of how we gather “data” truth, values and program ourselves in how we live?
If we are looking watching observing taking in “bad” things, then those things will distort the truth and dictate our values.
What do you believe are bad things that you should not be looking at?
Read Psalm 119
"Turn my eyes from worthless things and revive me again in Your way."
Life is full if things that can be viewed as worthless or damaging to us.
How does our perspective determine the attitude of our heart?
A healthy life begins with a healthy perspective.
Read John 16:33b
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
According to this verse how do we see and handle the pressure of the world?
We all have experienced some type of trauma in our lives.
How are ways people see and deal with what has happened to them?
We can’t ignore trauma and its effect on us.
How can God use trauma and change our prescription and how we see it?
Read: Matthew 6:22-23
22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.
23 But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
As we discussed last week busyness can distort our focus on what matters most.
How can we keep our focus pure?
Read Psalm 13:3
3 Turn and answer me, O LORD my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
How does where we focus determine our outlook?
How big is your God?
Is he bigger than what is staring at you?
Is he big enough to out shine the other distraction of life that want to take away you focus?
NextStep: Pray that God will show you things that have distracted you focus and dimmed you heart. Ask him to allow the power of the Holy Spirit to center your focus on Him keep you teachable and strength to guard your heart to protect you from those threats to your heart.
Take Back Your Life | Week 1
Series Big Idea: This Series will help you recognize what’s holding you back and equip you to embrace it head-on as you become the best version of yourself.
Discussion Guide 1
This is Your Wakeup Call!
Sermon Big Idea: What are you doing with what you have been given?
Opening:
One of the best things about being a kid and the worst about an adult is responsibility.
When was the first time you discovered you were responsible for something?
How is responsibility viewed in society today? Does the view change the value or weight of responsibility?
Read: 1 Kings 20: 39-40
As the king passed by, the prophet called out to him, “Sir, I was in the thick of battle, and suddenly a man brought me a prisoner. He said, ‘Guard this man; if for any reason he gets away, you will either die or pay a fine of seventy-five pounds[c] of silver!’ But while I was busy doing something else, the prisoner disappeared!” “Well, it’s your own fault,” the king replied. “You have brought the judgment on yourself.”
Discuss:
This story has a lot of twist and turn that really aren’t relevant to our discussion.
However, when we insert ourselves into the story as the soldier what are some truths we can gleam?
Read Proverbs 4:23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of our lives.
What was the soldiers excuse for allowing the prisoner to escape?
Distractions are everywhere.
What are some of the things that tend to distract you away from focusing on what matters most?
Have you ever noticed that the trap of busyness is something you are never looking for but it always finds you?
How does that lack of focus affect your life and relationships?
According to the message who are we most responsible to guard?
Read Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
If we are to guard our hearts, what are some threats we trying to keep out?
Should our focus be keeping things out or keeping our hearts full?
How do we keep our hearts full?
What are some specific thing you and I can do to guard ourselves from the things that have taken our lives away from us?
Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
To take back our lives we must take back responsibility of protecting our hearts. That means we open ourselves to God’s working in our lives and set boundaries on those things that would distract us from our purpose.
NextStep: Pray that God will show you things that have snuck into your life and taken you captive. Ask him to allow the power of the Holy Spirit to center your focus on Him keep you teachable and strength to guard your heart to protect you from those threats to your heart.
Roller Coaster | Week 4
Feeling Lost in Sadness? Experience Joy Again
Key Scriptures
But as he came closer to Jerusalem and saw the city ahead, he began to weep. Luke 19:41 NLT
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me.” Matthew 23:37 NLT
“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!’” Luke 15:17 NIV
“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20 NIV
“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” Luke 15:31-32 NIV
Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.
What three emotions do you think you felt most this week?
Name one thing that has recently brought you joy.
Start thinking. Ask a question to get your group thinking.
Do you relate to a particular character or moment from the parable of the Prodigal Son? How so?
Have you noticed yourself walking or drifting away from God? What impact has that had on your life?
Do you ever find yourself just following the rules instead of truly enjoying a relationship with your Father? What would need to change for you to enjoy the relationship?
Start sharing. Choose a question to create openness.
What one step could you take toward your Father this week?
Who could you encourage in their faith?
Start praying. Be bold and pray with power.
Father, thank You that we can always find joy in our relationship with You, regardless of our life’s circumstances. Help us to lean more on You each day, trusting that You will care for us and guide us as we continue forward. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Start doing. Commit to a step and live it out this week.
Choose one step to take toward your Father this week. Then take that step.
Roller Coaster | Week 3
Angry Like Jesus
Key Scriptures
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV
Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” The blind and the lame came to him at the temple, and he healed them. Matthew 21:12-14 NIV
… for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross. Colossians 2:13-15 NLT
Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.
How do you feel about expressing anger? Are you comfortable with it, or do you tend to downplay it?
What’s your typical way of expressing anger when you feel it?
Start thinking. Ask a question to get your group thinking.
What makes you angrier—when you’re mistreated, or when someone you love is mistreated? Why do you think there’s a difference between the two?
In your effort to be right, have you ever forgotten to be loving? What was that situation like? What did you learn from it?
How might remembering God’s forgiveness of your sins change the way you approach people who have hurt or mistreated you or those you love?
Start sharing. Choose a question to create openness.
What injustices make you feel angry?
When you feel anger over injustice, how can you turn the tables by loving people?
Start praying. Be bold and pray with power.
Father, thank You for Your forgiveness. In spite of the many ways, we sin against You, You are continually patient and loving, leading us to become more like Your Son. Be with us in times when we feel anger toward others and guide us in showing them Your love. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Start doing. Commit to a step and live it out this week.
Spend time this week thanking God for His forgiveness of your sins. Ask Him to help you show His love to others the next time you feel angry.