RE: Relationship Essentials | Week 4
Big Idea: We have an understanding of our family when we understand our role in God’s family
Getting Started:
Family looks different for everyone. You didn’t get to choose them, but you can’t get rid of them either, so you choose to love them. Some may have good relationships with their family, some may be distant from their family.
· What is your idea of family?
· What are some traits you can think of for your family? (Quiet, loud, spontaneous)
Digging In
The world’s version of family and God’s version of family are very different. The world is based on performance and God’s is based on grace. The beginning of a Grace-filled family is a renewed heart.
· What does it mean to have a renewed heart?
· How does God look at family differently than we look at family?
· What is the difference between loving someone for who they are and loving someone for what they do?
· When we love a family member for who they are instead of what they do, what changes?
Read Romans 8:14-17
These verses explain what it looks like to be a child of God, adopted into His family, and an heir of his.
· What does it take to be a part of God’s family?
· What does it look like to be an heir of God?
· How can our understanding of God’s family help us in how we love our own family?
Navigating family relationships is not always easy. There are some family members who continue to hurt you and there is a way to love them as well.
· How can we love a family member who hurts us well?
· What good would boundaries do within that relationship?
Read Matthew 3:17
This is the way God spoke about Jesus, his one and only son. He affirmed him and provided encouragement because of who he was, never for the miracles he performed.
· How does the way we speak about our family effect them?
· Are you affirming your family in the way God affirmed his son?
· What would happen if you began to?
Next Step
The family you have is not by coincidence. God has placed you in their lives to love them and affirm them. When you do this, without expecting it in return, it has the power to restore and rebuild. Choose to take time this week to affirm the relationships in your family, not because of what they do or can provide, but simply because of who they are.
Relationship Essentials | Release - Week 3
Big Idea:
The method we use to raise our children determines the weight of the challenge and depth of the reward.
Getting Started:
Not everyone reading this is a parent, but all have had a first hand look into the life of a parent. You either are one, hope to someday become one, or had parental figures in your life to watch how they did it. When it comes to parenting, raising your children the way you want them to live is the goal. The thing is, that takes effort and intentionality. Many parents feel as though they have missed the mark or failed and the
What are the top one or two lessons you learned from your parents or parental figures?
What about those qualities stuck with you the most?
Did you learn any traits from your parents because you watched what they did?
Digging In
Read Proverbs 22:6
The goal with children or the next generation is not to control them but to train them.
What is the difference between controlling and training a child?
What different effects would training or controlling a child have on their lives long term?
How can we plan to train a child instead of control their every move?
The best way to train children and the generation coming behind us is not just through the wisdom we share, but the actions we show to prove it.
Why would actions have more weight to them than words?
Are there any examples in your life of wise words that fell flat because a lack of action?
It is so important that we show our children what we want them to do instead of just telling them. For example, if we encourage them to be kind, but all they see is the opposite of that in us, it will be hard for them to understand what kindness really looks like.
One of the biggest goals as a parent is to prevent our kids from making the same mistakes we made, because we know how harsh the consequences can be. However, we often fail to invite our kids into that part of our past out of fear that they will get the wrong idea.
How can sharing our past with our kids or next generation help them?
What parts of your past are hard for you to share with those you hope to train? What is holding you back from sharing?
What is God able to do by us sharing our failures with kids?
Read Deuteronomy 6:5-7
These commandments are the core of what it looks like to train your child. As a parent, your primary relationship must be with God. Before your spouse, before your kids, before anything.
How do we actively place God above our spouse and children?
What are some things that would have to change in your life to make God the priority?
What is the outcome when our relationship with God is the priority of our parenting?
Next Step
Connect with another parent in your life group and discuss some things you plan to do to increase the intentionality of your parenting. Talk about how you can make God number one in your life or ways you plan to be more authentic and vulnerable with your child. Ask them to check in on you and see how it’s going and do the same for the other parent.
If you are not a parent find someone else who isn’t a parent and ask how they plan to teach and train their future children or next generation in their lives. There is a quote that says failing to prepare is preparing to fail. So use this time to prepare ways you want to be intentional with future children in your life.
RE: Relationship Essentials | Part 2
Big Idea:
There are essentials in marriages that we can learn from to redirect all of our relationships towards God.
Getting Started:
Not everyone who is in this room may be married right now. You may be single and thinking of dating, or in a relationship or you’ve been married and have experienced divorce. Don’t think that because marriage was the central element that you are eliminated from this discussion.
If you aren’t married consider how you could grow and prepare for that kind of relationship through some of these questions.
· Is there a couple you know and look up to as a strong, healthy marriage that is headed in the right direction?
· What allows relationships (romantic ones in particular) to head in the right direction?
Digging In
Many of us need to redirect our relationships because we’ve been given the wrong directions by those who have been our examples.
· What is an example of the relationships in your life that have directed you poorly?
· How could there be hope to redirect your relationships from the bad examples you’ve been given?
The pastor on Sunday said, “we must not believe the lie that all relationships are destined to fail, and that we can begin today to head in a new/better direction.”
· What creates this idea that all relationships are destined to fail?
· What is a “new/better direction” that would help save a failing relationship?
Read
The worst thing for your marriage is not even knowing you’re headed in the wrong direction.
· How can we stop and honestly evaluate whether or not our marriage is headed down the right path?
· What are some of the distractions in life you face that can create a bump in your marriage?
o (our routines, focusing on our own journey, our job, flirting with other people, our hobbies, friends)
A wrong direction we’ve bought into is the idea that our spouse or the spouse we’re looking for needs to be our other half. Have you ever said that? Don’t feel guilty is you have. The truth is though, that puts a lot of pressure on your spouse. Now they’re the one that has to complete you. On the flip side, you have to be the other perfect half for them. If anything is wrong with you, now you no longer complete them. It was never meant to be that way.
· If our spouse shouldn’t be our other half, how should we see our spouse?
Craig Groeschel, lead pastor of Life.Church, says marriage should be chasing the 1 with our 2. That life is all about chasing God with our whole hearts and then looking to our side and seeing the person we’ve chosen to do that with.
· How can we re-direct our marriages to chase the 1 (God) with our 2 (spouse).
· If you’re single or dating right now, how should this mindset effect the way you live and view relationships?
Next Step
Married Groups: Now is a great time to take a moment as husbands and wives to evaluate your marriage together. The goal is not to create arguments, but to create a space where you can discuss with one another the state of your marriage and what you believe God wants to do through it.
Single Groups: Because you don’t have someone next to you right now doesn’t mean you never will. The goal of a season of singleness is to intentionally pursue God with your whole hearts and occasionally look around and see if there is someone doing that alongside you. That may lead to someone saying “Hey do you want to pursue God together?” For now, let that end destination leave your mind and think about the journey you would need to take to get there.
RE: Relationship Essentials | Week 1
Big Idea:
You cannot do life alone and find true fulfillment.
Getting Started:
Relationships are very fulfilling and very difficult all at the same time. We have a desire to know people and have people know us but it’s a lot messier than that.
Where do relationships go wrong?
Is it even possible to have healthy relationships?
Relationships don’t come easy to everyone, many introverts feel paralyzed at the thought of approaching someone and beginning a friendship.
How can we break past our tendencies to remain isolated?
Who are some people (in real life, not fictional) that you believe display a real authentic, healthy relationship?
What do you think is the reason for that?
Read Matthew 22:36-40
These two commandments are considered the greatest to Jesus and they point directly to relationships.
What does that say about God’s view on relationships?
Do we do a good job of living out these commandments? Why?
Digging In
Relationships come in so many forms.
With God
Dating/Marriage
Friendship
Parent/child
Co-workers
Church
Hobby
Through our kids
The list goes on.
In every single relationship, the driving force that creates distance is the differences we have. But what if instead of pushing each other away because we’re different, we learned to encourage our differences?
Read 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
If God created us differently, why do we dislike each other’s differences?
What would It look like for us to love one another through our differences?
Can you think of a relationship in your life where someone is completely different than you, but you couldn’t imagine life without them? Share
Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
The pastor on Sunday said that You cannot do life alone and find true fulfillment.
What would you find through a life spent alone?
How do begin, right here, establishing what Ecclesiastes talks about?
Next Step
Being the beginning of the fall life group term, relationships may be new and uncertain. Maybe you’re unsure of what the people sitting next to you are like or maybe you do know exactly what they’re like and that scares you. Either way, God has placed these people in your life for a reason and it’s a great opportunity to grow closer to God and grow closer to one another. Discuss as a group some goals you hope to achieve together during this fall term. This will allow you to look back and celebrate how far God has brought you.
Playlist | In My Blood
Big Idea:
You discover success in your life by what is happening in you, not what happens to you.
Getting Started:
· Listen to “In My Blood” by Shawn Mendes for all who did not get to join on Sunday
· What are your initial thoughts when you hear the words in this song?
· Are the things he discusses in the song the majority of what people struggle with or a minority of the struggle?
This series is meant to finds truths within songs to live our lives to, not live by the songs we are singing.
Digging In
Shawn Mendes became a successful artist before he turned 18, many Grammy nominees, along with having 3 top 200 albums, all BEFORE releasing this song.
· First, what is the “Bathroom floor”?
· How could he achieve all that success and still find himself on the bathroom floor?
· This is an extremely clear example of success not working out for a songwriter, but it’s more difficult when we look at the life of a 9-5 regular joe/jane. How can we find ourselves lying on the Bathroom floor?
Often, when we find ourself at this place, we reach out for something to ease our pain; Something to get us through the struggle.
o Shawn said “Just have a drink and you’ll feel better, Just take her home and you’ll feel better. Keep telling me that it gets better, does it ever?”
· How do we supplement our pain?
· What does that supplement do for us while we’re in a place of pain, confusion, or regret?
“medicating symptoms can keep you from the cure”
· If you were to break something on your body, say your wrist, how much good would ice do for it? What about a tylenol or oxycodone?
· These things will absolutely subside the pain, for a moment, but they wont fix what’s actually wrong.
· In terms of those times we find ourselves lying on the bathroom floor, it’s vital to know what the actual cure is. Discuss with the group what that could be.
On Sunday, the pastor spoke about what we perceive to be the cure. What is that? Success
· Why is that only a perception of the cure?
Read Philippians 1:14-16
At a point where he was literally chained, the apostle Paul saw it as a moment to grow his confidence in God and a place to defend the good news.
· How did Paul find contentment in his heart while his hands were in chains?
· How can we, like Paul, keep our focus on proclaiming the Gospel as opposed to trying to fixing our situation?
· How will your purpose redirect your circumstances?
Next Step
There is a joy that the world cannot offer and the world cannot take away. This is only a Joy that comes from God. The way that you remain in that source of joy of to stay close to the one who offers it. Every day for the next week read James 1:2-4 and consider what it requires to have that kind of joy.
Playlist | Counting Stars
Big Idea:
When your Dreams point to God, your future is always secure in Him.
Note to the Leader:
Prayer is the element that holds group together for God. Focus on that and He will guide and bless your group.
Getting Started:
· Everyone knows of a playlist or two that they can open, hit shuffle, and never touch the device again because every song is a good one.
· What would be your go-to playlist?
· This playlist consists of a lifetime of accumulated taste in particular music. We have shaped our minds to know the sound of a song that reminds us of good times and happy memories. In the same way, we need to know the playlist in our heart that God uses to lead us. The values, principles, and steps that are needed to find fulfillment in life. We need to create a playlist worth living by.
When you think of the series title, what do you hope to get out of the next six weeks?
Digging In
As a little kid, your imagination was full of possibilities. You could become anything you wanted to be, a chef, an athlete, a movie star, a singer. We have always had big dreams.
· What did you dream of becoming as a kid? Why did you want to do that?
· Would your life look the same today if your childhood dream came true?
Read Proverbs 13:19
· God cares about our dreams. Is this true or false, why?
According to this verse, what prevents us from achieving a dream?
· Would it be possible for a dream to come true if it is self-centered?
The dreams God takes delight in are dreams that are not self-centered, but others-focused. If to achieve a dream you have in life will require you to push anyone out of the way to achieve it, that is a broken dream.
The pastor said “success doesn’t last beyond the trophy”
Everyone has an ideal “trophy” in mind for their life. It could be to retire by age 50, it could be to be the best Father or Husband, it could be to start up and run your own business. How does the statement above apply to these trophies we hope to achieve?
· Can you think of the trophies in your life? Something that you believe will bring satisfaction if you achieved it.
· If you were to get that trophy, would you actually find the satisfaction you’re seeking in life?
What would you gain? What could you lose?
Let me be clear, wanting to retire early with a pension is not a bad thing, running your business and being a financial success is not a bad thing. We want to encourage you to use your gifts and talents to reach milestones in your life. However, none of those things will be a trophy that will hold its value. Eventually, a retiree needs a hobby. A business owner needs another location, A child goes off to lead their own life. Then what?
· What would be the ultimate trophy in life? The trophy that would always hold its value. Is it attainable?
The last thing the pastor spoke about was having a legacy that leaves an impact longer than us.
· Who are some people who’s legacy has left an impact on your life?
· What was their dream/drive/trophy in life?
What kind of impact did they leave in your life? Did it look anything like the successful trophies we have in front of us now?
Next Step
This week, think of the goals that you have for your future and ask if those plans look to benefit you or those around you. Broken dreams lead down a lonely road. Fulfilling dreams advance the kingdom of God. If your dreams look to further you and no one else, let’s re-evaluate them. Write down your dreams and ask God if they align with His dreams for you. If you aren’t sure if they are self-serving or God-Honoring dreams, ask your spouse or a friend their thoughts.
The Nine | Eight: The Challenger
Big Ideas:
· When we trust God in the process, we can be sure that He will get us there.
· Only when we focus on Him and allow our FAITH to grow will our fear diminish.
Note to the Leader:
Open up group with a time of prayer
Getting Started:
· What have you enjoyed most about this series?
Digging In
Discuss
· This week specifically we focus on the 8: The Challenger, are there any “8’s” in the group?
· What are the strengths of the Eight: Challenger?
Pastor said that challengers are the ones who make us feel uncomfortable
· If you are not an 8 do you agree with this statement, why? – share an example.
· If you are an 8 do you agree with this? share a reason why you do/don’t.
We looked at 3 different 8’s in this message: Saul, Paul same guy, different name – discuss why) and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
8’s Stand Against Injustice and Protect Those Who are Weak
· How does this statement make you feel?
· Have you experienced this as a negative in your experiences with an 8?
Misguided Passion is Dangerous: Read Acts 7:57-58
· We looked at Saul with regards to this, was he wrong even though he felt right? How so?
· How can we help an “unhealthy” 8?
Pastor said, “As Challengers Please Make Sure that you are Battling for God’s Truth and NOT Just Your Version of the Truth.”
· What is the difference between these two types of truth?
· What is the best way for us to know if we are doing this?
Others are Harmed by Our Words and Actions When Our Passions are Misguided
Discuss Proverbs 18:21
Closing Thoughts:
· Discuss Saul’s conversion to Paul.
· What brought about this change? (Encounter with Jesus)
· What does that tell us about how we should live? (Jesus’ mandate to love and serve all people needs to be what drives us)
Read 1 Timothy 6: 12
Closing Prayer
Lord, thank You for an amazing message about how we can and were actually designed by You to live by Faith. I pray that we allow Who You are – a faithful God – to be lead us and guide us daily. Only then can our passion be in the right places. You are our Way Maker, You are our Miracle Worker and we believe that you can do what no one else can do – bring your love and hope to our nation. You have a way of using the most unlikely people to carry out your amazing plans and we say, “count us in” we trust you Jesus and we are here willing to say YES.
The Nine | Seven: The Enthusiast
Big Ideas:
· God can use you right where you are with all that you have.
Note for leader: Remember the 70/30 rule. Try to have your group speak 70% of the time and you speak 30% so you don’t dominate the conversation!
Getting Started:
· What’s the biggest risk in life you’ve ever taken? What was the feeling like of committing to that risk?
· Is there anything that you’ve ever just picked up and been automatically good at? What is that thing and why do you think it was so easy?
Digging In
Today we discuss the 7: Enthusiast, always looking for adventure, always wanting to be out and about, always finding the best. You want to surround yourself with a 7 because they will make a room come alive. You never have to worry about having a good time because they in fact are the good time. However, if a seven doesn’t know how to stop they can burn themselves and everyone around them out.
Discuss
· Are there any 7: Enthusiasts in the group?
· After reading the description do you agree that you reflect this personality?
· What can make a Seven strong?
King David is actually a 7. His life reflects a constant excitement with adventure such as fighting Goliath and winning. We’re going to look at the moments he became king of Israel though.
Read 2 Samuel 6:14-16
· David’s partying
· Half naked
· Enjoying himself as he brings the Ark of the covenant into Jerusalem.
· What is the ark of the covenant? What is it’s significance?
The pastor said that The Enthusiast reflects God’s joy.
· How do we see David reflect the joy of God in this scene?
· Why is it easier for some people to have joy than others?
· Read James 1:2-3. How can we have this kind of joy in our lives?
The Enthusiast is a master Reframer.
· When you hear the term reframing, what do you think of?
It means they can turn any situation to reflect what they want it to look like. That also means they can avoid truth when they hear it.
· Give some real life examples of ways we all reframe situations in our lives.
· What is a positive and a negative of reframing?
· How do you respond when something is honest but you don’t want to accept it?
· Many times we put off the things that God is trying to reveal in us. What does it take to finally accept something?
Read Philippians 4:12-13
One of the needs for the 7 is to find contentment in all things.
· Paul found contentment in the middle of a jail cell. What was it that allowed him to remain content?
· How do you struggle with discontentment?
· What would life look like to be content with all things?
Closing Prayer
God help me to run to you and not from pain. Help me to develop deep and lasting friendships with people who want to have fun, but can also keep me grounded. Help me to have the tough
conversations that real life requires and remind me to be thankful for what you have done.
The Nine | Six: The Loyalist
Big Ideas:
· When we trust God in the process, we can be sure that He will get us there.
· Only when we focus on Him and allow our FAITH to grow will our fear diminish.
Getting Started:
The Enneagram is an interesting tool to gauge what makes us tick the way we do:
· What have you enjoyed most about this series?
· Do you agree or disagree with your personality test results?
· Do you see value in taking a personality test like this?
Discuss
· This week specifically we focus on the 6: The Loyalist, are there any “6’s” in the group?
· Why would it be important to learn about all 9 numbers instead of just your own?
· What are the strengths of the Six: Loyalist?
· Pastor said that the natural temperament of the loyalist is to “cling to safety”, what do you think about that statement?
· As a 6, or just as a person, what are some ways that you avoid risk and danger?
· What are some ways that doing so has caused you to “miss out” on some things?
Let’s discuss a great story in The Bible about a man named Gideon who had to learn to grow in faith and understand what it meant to conquer his fear in the middle of a crazy situation.
Read Judges 6:1-11, 6:22-23
· Gideon finally has this “ah ha” moment.
· He realized “God is sending me” and that was the shift he needed to move from fear to faith.
· What are some “ah ha” moments that have defined your life?
Pastor said that The Loyalist reflects God’s faithfulness.
· Do you see this as a true statement, how so?
· Are there any “dangers” to being loyal?
Pastor said, “The Loyalist cannot allow fear to control their lives.”
· What are some ways that you have allowed fear to control you?
· Why can it be so easy to “see” risk and danger in everything?
Loyalists are trustworthy and good planners.
· How can such good qualities become some not so good tendencies?
· Example: (only willing to do something IF it is guaranteed in our minds to work out)
Closing Thoughts:
How can 6’s move from FEAR towards FAITH?
· Believe that God is going to DEMONSTRATE His POWER in your WEAKNESS as he DID with Gideon.
· God has Always CHOSEN the LEAST Likely People.
· God has Something GREATER for You…you have to believe this!
Closing Prayer
Lord, thank You for an amazing message about how we can and were actually designed by You to live by Faith. I pray that we allow Who You are – a faithful God – to be lead us and guide us daily. Only then can our Faith rise, and our fear diminish. You have a way of using the most unlikely people to carry out your amazing plans and we say, “count us in” we trust you Jesus and we are here willing to say YES.
The Nine | Five: The Investigator
Big Ideas:
God has designed you to investigate the life He created in you.
Note to the Leader:
This is a help for you to engage and steer the conversation with your group.
Do your best by asking questions that will spur your group into sharing personal experiences.
You do not have to read every question.
Getting Started:
The Enneagram is an interesting tool to gauge what makes us tick the way we do:
Out of the five we have heard so far, which number do you come in contact with most frequently?
No matter your number, do you see characteristics of all enneagram numbers within you?
How has this improved the way you love those around you?
Discuss
This week specifically we focus on the 5: Investigator’s, are there any “5’s” in the group?
What is it that makes a five tick?
Has there ever been a funny time in your life where you started doing your research and felt like an Investigator? Tell that story.
We don’t ever truly understand God fully and so we need people in our lives that can help us investigate the doubts we have in our mind.
What are the doubts you have about life?
The pastor said that God welcomes our questions, he doesn’t ignore them.
What’s one question you would ask God right now if you could?
What do you think his answer would be?
Read John 20:24
Jesus has been crucified and the grave has been empty. People are proclaiming that he rose from the grave. Thomas, one of the disciples, claims he wont believe it until he see’s it.
What is something you would have to see to believe?
Is this a strong side or a weak side of the 5 being revealed?
How could the disciples around him have encouraged Thomas to have stronger faith that Jesus had resurrected?
The five looks to gain knowledge and knowing the truth
When on a pursuit for the truth, what obstacles could you face?
For any 5’s, what will the result be when the truth is found? Will you be at peace or will you still continue to look for deeper proof?
Will an answer ever be enough for a 5?
Closing
God is not afraid of your investigation of Him. He welcomes your questions and wants to guide you through the answers. Whenever you don’t get a complete answer, take it as a lead to learn something new about God and investigate His character more.
The Nine | Four: The Individualist
Big Ideas:
· When you understand how God created you, you can grow in your love for those around you.
· Only when you make yourself available to God will your ability be enough.
Note to the Leader:
This is a help for you to engage and steer the conversation with your group.
Do your best by asking questions that will spur your group into sharing personal experiences.
You do not have to read every question.
Getting Started:
The Enneagram is an interesting tool to gauge what makes us tick the way we do:
· What have you enjoyed most about this series so far?
· Do you agree or disagree with your personality test results?
· Do you see value in taking a personality test like this?
Discuss
· This week specifically we focus on the 4: Individualist, are there any “4’s” in the group?
· Why would it be important to learn about all 9 numbers instead of just your own?
· What are the strengths of the Four: Individualist?
· Pastor said that being “basic” is a 4’s fear: why would being “basic” be bad?
Read 1 Samuel 18:6-9
The song that does Saul in.
· Comparison is not of God. Looking at this scripture how is this evident?
Read 1 Samuel 18:10-11
· The pastor said that “Comparison STEALS our IDENTITY”, how have you struggled with comparison?
· How does comparison affect us?
In 1 Samuel 13:11-13
· Saul went rouge and didn’t wait for the Prophet Samuel; he offered a sacrifice to God for the community.
· This was not what God asked Saul to do. Saul let his feelings/fear of “these people are getting mad and are going to leave” drive him to ignore God’s way.
· How can our feelings misguide us?
· How have you allowed your feelings to drown out the voice of God?
The pastor asked the question, “Have you ever convinced yourself you did something right even though you knew it was wrong?”
· How do we shift our focus away from feelings and towards Jesus?
· How can we keep our past mistakes from defining us?
FIVE Things to Remember:
· Stop Comparing yourself with others…
· Accept Your identity in Christ
· Leave Your past in the past
· Receive the forgiveness and covering of Jesus
· Listen to God’s voice
· Your PAST does NOT Disqualify you from the GRACE of God.
Closing Prayer
Each week there is a specific prayer geared for the number we are looking at. Here is the prayer for the Four: Individualist.
Lord, I pray we all run OUR race, in OUR lane, – the one You designed specifically for us – because You have given us grace in that lane. At times, the Four Individualist, struggles with comparison, with allowing their past to define them, and letting their feelings run them: today we pray that cycle ends. Today I pray the Four Individualist allows You, Jesus, to be the loudest voice in their heads and in their hearts; that they may run after you and all that you have for them. In Jesus' name, amen.
The Nine | Three: The Achiever
Big Idea:
It’s not just about who you are, It’s about the best version God has created you to be.
Note to the Leader:
This is a help for you to engage and guide the conversation with you group.
Do your best to make this story come to life by asking questions that will spur your group into seeing this play out in real time.
You do not have to read every question; they are just there if you need them to move the main idea forward.
Getting Started:
Read Romans 12:4-5
Being different just means we’re all fulfilling different parts of the same equation.
· This week specifically we focus on the 3: Achiever, are there any “3s” in the group?
· What are the strengths/weaknesses of the Three: Achiever?
Note: This is a great opportunity to invite your group to take the test if they haven’t already. Just download EnneaApp and click “Find your results”.
Digging In
This week’s biblical character who reflects a 3 is Jacob.
Read about Jacob in Genesis 25:21-26
· Who is Jacob?
· What is the significance of Jacobs story in the bible?
· When Jacob grabs the heel of Esau, how does this reflect the tendencies of the 3?
Jacobs goal was always to be ahead because he was driven.
· Would you say you’re a driven person? If yes, what drives you?
· What would the world look like without driven and ambitious people?
· Is there ever a point where being too ambitious and driven is an issue?
o If yes, what is that point?
Read summary of Jacob stealing the birthright
One day Jacob is in the kitchen, making some homemade chili. He’s cooking and his brother Esau comes in and says, “I’m starving to death, I’m sick, I’m going to faint. Please give me something to eat, I beg you.” Jacob said, “Sure, for your birthright.” Taking from his brother all his rights of inheritance from being the first born. Jacob deceived his own flesh and blood to get ahead in life.
· The pastor said “Our drive should lead us to a person, not a place or position”
· What was meant by this?
· Has there been a time where you had your sights set on a title or a position? Did you do anything to get ahead? Explain your situation.
· How can being driven towards a position be wrong?
The key motivation of an Achiever is to feel worthy
· What are some ways we try to find our worth and value?
· A three can feel left out and doubted when they are not recognized for their success. Has there been a time where you did not fully feel recognized after you achieved something?
The weakness of an Achiever is that they deceive.
Don’t get defensive just yet! One of the biggest ways we deceive is by deceiving ourselves. We put on masks and a façade that tells everyone that we’re great and we’re okay when we’re actually a mess.
· The pastor said that God wont bless who you pretend to be.
· Why do we deceive ourselves?
· To the 3’s in the group: What is one way you deceive yourself?
Another way we deceive is through our motives. They aren’t always with the other persons best interest in mind but our own.
· Think about a time where your motives were not pure. What was the result?
· What are things that we can do to check our motives?
Next Step:
The big questions for the 3 is Do you know who you are? And Do you know whose you are?
Your identity is not in your successes or your achievements, but in living your life fully how God intended it to be. You have big dreams of which you have the ability to achieve, the only thing standing in your way is you.
· How can you get out of your own way to achieve something new this week?
Closing Prayer
Each week there is a specific prayer geared for the number we are looking at. Here is the prayer for the Three: Achiever
Prayer for the Achiever:
“God help me to find success in you and in you alone.
Help me to strive for obedience as I seek you.
I cast aside personal ambition and success so that I
can be fully focused on you and your plan for my life.
Amen.”
The Nine | Two: The Helper
Big Idea:
When you understand how God created you, you can grow in your love for those around you.
“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” - Aristotle
Note to the Leader:
This is a help for you to engage and guide the conversation with you group.
Do your best to make this story come to life by asking questions that will spur your group into seeing this play out in real time.
You do not have to read every question; they are just there if you need them to move the main idea forward.
Getting Started:
Read Romans 12:4-5
Being different just means we’re all fulfilling different parts of the same equation.
· This week specifically we focus on the 2: The Helper, are there any “2s” in the group?
· Why would it be important to learn about all 9 numbers instead of just your own?
· What are the strengths/weaknesses of the Two: The Helper? (Look at the app and what it says about the passion/fixation for type 2)
Note: This is a great opportunity to invite your group to take the test if they haven’t already. Just download EnneaApp and click “Find your results”.
Digging In
The Enneagram provides us insight and understanding on how the church, the body of Christ, works together.
While the Enneagram is not built around The Bible, it can open our eyes to ways God uniquely designed each of us.
Read Luke 10:38-42
· Are you familiar with the story of Mary and Martha? If not, have someone briefly explain.
· Someone in this story is the 2: Helper, who is it?
· What makes that person this personality type?
(She is serving and that is her priority)
Read Luke 10:38-40 Again
· The Two Helper in this story is upset (so upset that she demands Jesus do something about the situation). Does she have reason to be upset?
· Think about a time where you felt like you were the only one working/serving to get things done?
Martha asks Jesus if He even cares that Mary has left her to do the work by herself.
· Discuss: More than being upset that she is doing all the work, do you think Martha is upset that Mary is not being scolded for being “lazy”?
Then, Martha goes a bit too far, which is what can happen when we feel taken advantage of:
Luke 10:40:
· Discuss: Martha demands something of Jesus! Was there a time when you were so frustrated that you reacted in a way that shocked even yourself?
Luke 10:41-42
· Share: What is the real issue that Jesus is trying to get Martha to see?
· Discuss: Jesus was not telling Martha that what she was doing is wrong, but what was He telling her?
· Discuss: How do we keep ourselves from being “worried and upset about many things”?
· Discuss: How can we shift our focus to the “one thing” that is needed?
The Issue of a misguided 2: The Helper/Martha
Her pride caused her to feel that she knew what the better thing to be doing was.
· Martha feels like Jesus is letting Mary get away with being lazy. In our lives, 2’s can feel an injustice done to them. How can we support a 2’s perspective and love them for their viewpoint?
Jesus reminded her, “Mary has chosen what is better, and that will not be taken away from her”.
Next Step:
The pastor said: “An unhealthy 2 can become so busy they miss out on meaningful relationships.”
· If serving people was the heart of Jesus, how can serving be “wrong or unhealthy”?
· How would this keep us from meaningful relationships?
The pastor said: If the 2: Helper can’t serve people, they don’t know who they are.
· When a 2: Helper allows what they do for others to define them, things get unhealthy. How so?
Jesus has made you uniquely you. He loves you when you are serving – because He came to serve. He loves you when you are sitting at His feet – because that is “what is best”.
The question for the Two: The Helper is, can you love yourself and see your value when you are serving as well as when you are sitting?
Closing Prayer
Each week there is a specific prayer geared for the number we are looking at. Here is the prayer for the Two: The Helper:
God, I thank you for the Two Helper. Lord, I love them. I’m afraid they are going to feel ashamed. Let them know of your love. Help them live in freedom and serve out of the fullness of loving you, not serving to be loved, but serving because they are already loved.
God, help all of us help the Two Helper in our lives with all our hearts. In Jesus’ name, amen.
The Nine | One: The Reformer
Big Idea:
You aren’t perfect, but you’re perfectly loved.
Note to the Leader:
This is a help for you to engage and steer the conversation with you group.
Do your best to make this story come to life by asking questions that will spur your group into seeing this play out in real time.
You do not have to read every question; they are just there if you need them to move the main idea forward.
Getting Started:
The Enneagram is an interesting tool to gauge what makes us tick the way we do
· What are some other personality tests you’re familiar with?
· What do you like and dislike about personality tests?
· What number did you receive when you took the enneagram test and did you agree with your results?
This is a great opportunity to invite your group to take the test if they haven’t already. Just download EnneaApp and click “Find your results”.
Digging In
The reason we chose the Enneagram over many other tests is because there are so many versatile features within it. In a lot of personality tests they tell you exactly what you are, with enneagram there are strengths and weaknesses that also correlate to other “numbers” on the enneagram chart. Even though this isn’t built around the bible, it does open our eyes to ways God uniquely designed each of us.
· So, what makes your personality unique?
· Why do you think God created you that way?
Read Romans 12:4-5
Being different just means we’re all fulfilling different parts of the same equation.
· This week specifically we focus on the 1: Reformer, are there any “1s” in the group?
· Why would it be important to learn about all 9 numbers instead of just your own?
· What are the strengths of the One:Reformer?
Read Luke 15:25-27
· Are you familiar with the Prodigal Son story? If not, have someone briefly explain.
· Someone in this story is the One: Reformer, who is it?
· What makes that person this personality type?
o (They’re doing what they’re supposed to, following the rules)
Read Luke 15:28-30
· The One Reformer brings up a valid argument about the calf. How is this wrong though?
· The Brother did not like seeing someone receive a gift that they didn’t deserve. Think and discuss a time where someone or yourself deserved something good they did not deserve?
· Is it wrong to be frustrated that bad people receive good things?
· How do we love beyond our frustration?
Pastor said “The relationship is more important than the rules”
· How do we shift our focus away from rules and towards relationship?
· How do we love someone who is too focused on the rules and not the relationship?
On the cross, Jesus extended mercy to one of the prisoners being executed. Even though he never followed the rules, never went to church, never prayed, he received mercy at the last moment.
· How is that fair?
· Would anything disqualify someone from receiving that same mercy?
Next Step:
Pastor said “Make allowance for everyones faults, even your own.”
We have to learn to forgive. Even if a rule is broken, even if trust is misused, even if you don’t want to. We have to forgive as Jesus commanded. Friends, Family, Spouses, Coworkers, and ourselves.
You are not perfect, but you are perfectly loved.
Closing Prayer
Each week there is a specific prayer geared for the number we are looking at. Here is the prayer for the One: Reformer.
God, I pray we’ll all find grace. Right now, the One Reformers are spinning with criticism for themselves. Reassure them they’re the best among us, the most moral, the most right. But they’re still sinners who need you. They need grace, they need your mercy, just like all of us. Help them find mercy at the cross. In Jesus' name, amen.
Everyday Jesus | Week 6
Big Idea: Are you living to die or dying to live?
Important for Leaders:
This discussion guide is a help for you to engage and steer the conversation within your group. You do not have to read every question; this is just a resource for you to move the big idea forward.
Do your best to make the story come to life by asking questions that will spur your group conversations that make this story come alive and become applicable to their lives.
Get Started:
· How did you Easter look different this year than normal?
· Were there any new traditions that this allowed you to make?
Dig In:
· What comes to mind when you think about Death? Does it scare you or do you feel prepared?
John 11:21-22 “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.”
One of Jesus’ best friends has just died and it’s been about 4 days. When Jesus arrives Martha, Lazarus’ sister, blames Jesus immediately for not being there in time.
· What is the most difficult part of the death of someone close to you?
· How do you handle death? Do you blame, isolate, reach out?
· Is Martha’s response to Jesus right? Explain.
John 11:25-26 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
· Jesus did not say he brings resurrection and life, but that he is resurrection and life. How is this a significant difference?
o Because life is found in Him. He is the answer to it, not a supplement of it.
At the end of this Jesus asks, “Do you believe this?” because it’s a choice. Why do you believe people hear this message and choose not to believe?
John 11:33-36 When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!”
10 verses ago Jesus was talking about how he IS life and how he has resurrection power, and then we see him weeping over his friends body. In the same instance that Jesus shows his power, he shows his human nature.
· What does it show us that Jesus wept for his friend?
· What is different about the way Jesus mourned and the way we mourn?
Later in this story, Jesus asks the sisters to open the tomb. It’s nasty and stinky but Jesus says that this is for the Glory of God. The stone is rolled away and Jesus leans into this tomb and yells loudly for Lazarus to come out.
You’d think he’d whisper or go in and resurrect him privately, you know in case it didn’t work, but he yelled for everyone to see what was happening.
Next Step
In the current state of life, what could we do to live more boldly for Christ?
Does your faith reflect the boldness of Jesus?
Everyday Jesus | Week 5
BIG IDEA: WE ARE ALL BORN BLIND BUT BY GRACE WE CAN SEE THE HOPE THAT JESUS GIVE THROUGH HIS SALVATION.
READ THIS BEFORE YOUR GROUP BEGINS
NOTE TO THE LEADERS
This discussion guide is a help for you to engage and steer the conversation within your group. You do not have to read every question; this is just a resource for you to move the big idea forward.
Do your best to make the story come to life by asking questions that will spur your group conversations that make this story come alive and become applicable to their lives.
GETTING STARTED
Ask everyone how they are doing and allow them to interact and share about what’s going on in their life with all the chaos.
What are some positives that have come out of this time of quarantine?
DIGGING IN
Read John 9:1-2
People react to tragedy in different ways. Most reactions begin with the question, “Why?”.
Why did this tragedy happen to this person? Why is this child handicap?
I can’t hardly watch those Saint Jude or Shriner’s hospital commercials.
“Why” is a natural response to tragic circumstances
What makes the disciples question of “why” unusual?
(They sought to lay blame on the blind man or his parents.)
SAY:
In the time of this story taking place, when something was wrong or something bad happened the idea was that the person must have done something bad and God was punishing them. In this case, the parents did something bad so the child was handicap as the parent’s punishment.
Have you ever felt like God was punishing you when something bad happened to you?
Every action has a consequence. But is every bad thing that happens a result of an action we did?
SAY
Since this man was born blind, he had been labeled as a sinner his whole life.
What are some labels you or someone you may know have been wrongly given based on circumstances outside their control?
Read John 9:3
So, is Jesus saying this man was blind at birth because God wanted to show His power?
SAY
Not really, he was saying that this happened, and God would use it to show His power.
Read John 9:6-7
Then he (Jesus) spit on the ground, made mud with the saliva, and spread the mud over the blind man’s eyes. He told him, “Go wash yourself in the pool of Siloam” (Siloam means “sent”). So, the man went and washed and came back seeing!
SAY
Gross. Sometimes things get worse before they get better.
The man maybe was even thinking “Thanks a lot Jesus. I went from being blind, to being blind with spit and mud on my face.”
None the less the man went and did as Jesus said.
Did you notice that Jesus didn’t say if you go wash the spit and mud out of off your face you would be able to see again?
Read: John 9:8-11
SAY
Jesus used the blind man to help others see.
Has there ever been a bad situation that you have experienced that God has used to help others?
Read John 9:16
Why are the Pharisees whining?
Jesus broke their rules to help the blind man.
How can religion become dangerous?
Because we can become more concerned with the rules than being a blessing to people.
Read John 9:35-41
Say
As always Jesus main purpose is to open our eyes to the truth that we need a Him for salvation.
NEXT STEP
What blinds others to see Jesus is the hope of the world?
What are some ways we can help others see?
What do we allow to blind our faith in difficult situations?